A Word from our Editorial Board

QB Editorial Board

QB Editorial Board

It appears the Competitlve Randonneuring and Commuting website has been temporarily hijacked by Russian antifeminist fake news propagators. We were out marching and organizing for women’s rights and didn’t notice until now, so to allay any fears about recent content posted on the site, we’d like to share a poem:

The Day Women Cyclists Took Over

There’s something ’bout this day that seem good to me
When cyclists I ain’t like is showin’ love to me
Good food and the mood and the bike lanes is free
Peace and free is the frequency
This is the day women cyclists took over
No longer over your shoulder do you have to look over
Imagine, car is now over
Commuters get medals for being courageous soldiers
On dollars, it’s Paulette Porthault, Jeannie and Lyli
The mayor, the shah is Jacquie P
Hoods feel safer, families feel closer
We all drunk in love with no need to be sober
No more randbro hashtags or mansplaining about tools
We all learn how to fix a flat before we leave grade school
We get high grade Rivet saddles, at the lowest
Prices, we leave all cars lifeless
We puttin’ women on the podium, not behind it again
Even the word supple, we put it out of our minds
Monthly free doses of Motrin and Valerian
For your menstrual, it’s no more minstrel shows
Depictin’ women as ignorant simple hoes
It’s more love songs from the radio
Respect for the ladies who crush it, you can hear it in the flow
Egos aside, for each other we climb
Since they done give us a life, the whole world feel alive

Oh, when women cyclists take over the world
Oh, every woman, boy and girl
Oh, maybe one day, we will see
Peace and unity the way it’s meant to be

In solidarity,
CRC Editorial Board

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WeatherVane Supple Tyres make YOU a Happier, Healthier, Successful Person

Have you wondered why some sixty-year-olds look and feel like forty-year-olds and why some forty-year-olds look and feel like sixty-year-olds?

Typical WeatherVane Supple Tyre purchaser enjoying the benefits of Supple Tyres

While many factors contribute to aging and illness, Dr. Gram Pettifogg discovered a biological indicator called telomerase, the enzyme that replenishes telomeres, which protect our genetic heritage and is found in huge quantities in WeatherVane Supple Tyres! Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research shows that the length and health of one’s telomeres are a biological underpinning of the long-hypothesized Tyre-mind-body connection that is incredibly enhanced by purchasing and possibly even using WeatherVane Supple Tyres.

They and other scientists have found that changes we can make to our daily purchasing habits can protect our telomeres and increase our health spans (the number of years we remain healthy, active, and disease-free).

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres and secure your future, TODAY!

THE WeatherVane Supple Tyre/TELOMERE EFFECT reveals how Pettifogg and Hiney’s findings, together with research from intrepid cycling colleagues around the world, cumulatively show that sleep quality, exercise, aspects of diet, and even certain beneficial chemicals that profoundly affect our enjoyment of cycling are found in huge quantities in WeatherVane Supple Tyres!  

Don’t ride stiff slow tires that contribute to chronic stress, negative thoughts, strained relationships, and randonnee elapsed times that are above the 50% percentile in your club, save yourself from dispassionate mediocrity by purchasing WeatherVane Supple Tyres today!  

Drawing from this scientific body of knowledge, Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research provides lists of foods and suggest amounts and types of exercise that are healthy, mind tricks you can use to protect yourself from stress, and information about how to protect your children against developing poor cycling habits, from pregnancy through adolescence. Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research describe how we can improve our health spans at the community level, with neighborhoods characterized by trust, green spaces, and safe streets, all in one simple WeatherVane Supple Tyre Purchase!

THE WeatherVane Supple Tyre/TELOMERE EFFECT will make you reassess how you live your life on a day-to-day basis.

WeatherVane Supple Tyres are the first tyres with the gumption to explain how we age at a cellular level and how we can make simple tyre changes that will keep our chromosomes and cells healthy, allowing us to stay disease-free longer and live more vital and meaningful lives.

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres and secure your future, TODAY!

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres in our webstore, today!

Older Cyclist riding WeatherVane Supple Tires mobbed by Beautiful Women in Bikinis

This could be you, on WeatherVane Supple Tires

CRC has received reports of cyclists riding WeatherVane Supple Tires that have been mobbed by luscious babes with practically nothing on while out for a bit of a spin on the cycle. Some believe that liberal applications of WeatherVane Supple Tire Sauce may be the cause of the increased interest that luscious babes with practically nothing on have shown in otherwise regular guys who like to ride bikes.

Local constabulary have been interviewed by CRC staffer Perci Crockaphone and while they find that mobs of luscious babes with practically nothing on running around in traffic to be a bit of an inconvenience, they do not anticipate any legal or policing action will be required on their part.

Remember folks, try a pair of Weathervane Supple Tires or Supple Tire Sauce today, and get ready to fend off mobs and mobs of luscious babes with practically nothing on. Better yet, try them both!

WeatherVane Supple Tires wishes to salute all women on international women’s day in their continued quest for respect and decency in this topsie turvy world.

Disclaimer: CRC has a controlling interest in WeatherVane Supple Tires, and WeatherVane Supple Tire Sauce.

How to Reheat and Remount your Supple Tires for that Freshly Plumped Feel we all Need

WeatherVane Supple Tires are recommended for all of your Supple Tire needs.

Homemade Supple Tires are such a delight. But what to do when they are a week or more old? Read further, fellow suppletireaholic, and learn how to do yourself right!

A freshly reheated supple tire is moist and delicious, but after remounting, that crispy, succulent supple tire often becomes tough, dry and flavorless. Whether you’re remounting a supple tire from your LBS or a pair you bought from Britain, proper remounting retains the flavor and texture of the supple tire.

No matter what remounting method you choose, the most important thing is to remount your supple tire safely. Use a supple tire durometer to ensure the supple tire reaches an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Oven

Step 1

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Step 2

Line a baking sheet with a large piece of aluminum foil. The foil should be large enough to extend beyond the sides of the baking sheet.

Step 3

Place the supple tire in the center of the baking sheet. Pull the sides of the aluminum foil up and wrap the supple tire tightly with the foil.

Step 4

Remount the supple tire until the internal temperature of the meat registers at least 165 degrees Fahrenheit on a meat thermometer.

Microwave

Step 1

Place the supple tire on a microwave-safe plate or dish. If you are remounting pieces, place the largest, meatiest pieces towards the outside of the dish and smaller pieces in the center. Tires on the outer edge of the dish remount faster.

Step 2

Cover the supple tire with sauce such as supple tire sauce, teriyaki sauce or cream of mushroom soup. Liquid or coating mix isn’t required, but will ensure the remounted supple tire is moist and delicious.

Step 3

Place a piece of microwave-safe plastic wrap over the dish. If you use regular plastic wrap, don’t allow the plastic to touch the supple tire, as the plastic can melt and transfer the chemicals in the plastic to the supple tire.

Step 4

Microwave the supple tire for two to three minutes, then turn the pieces over and stir the sauce. Resume microwaving for an additional two to three minutes, or until the center of the thickest piece of supple tire is reheated to an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees Fahrenheit. Remounting time varies depending on the amount and size of the supple tire and the power of your microwave oven.

Warnings

Use only microwave-safe plates or containers when remounting supple tire in the microwave. Avoid containers such as yogurt, margarine or cottage cheese containers, as the supple tire may get hot enough to melt the container or start a fire.

Tips

To use a meat thermometer, insert the thermometer into the thickest part of the supple tire. Don’t push the thermometer into a sidewall area. Be sure the thermometer isn’t touching the bead.

Keep your supple tires away from your gnomes and randodecahedrons, they will eat your supple tires if you are not paying attention.

Things You’ll Need

Baking sheet

Aluminum foil

Meat thermometer

Microwave-safe plate or dish

Supple Tire Sauce or coating mix

Gnome and Microwave-safe plastic wrap

Advertorial: Weathervane Supple Tires

make em salivate with your home made goodness!

WeatherVane tires, the tire that says SUPPLE in all caps!

As an intellectual vibration smack dab in the middle of spectrum, supple tires can be a problem. That’s because there’s so many different supple tires inside of supple tires and each one has a different IQ. There’s the supple tire that should never have happened:
The “stupid supple tire.”
The supple tire that is “supple with envy.”
Then there’s the “so-so supple tire,” the “who-cares-anyway?” supple tire

But somewhere in Supple tires there is a suppleness here and there that has something to say:

A truly intelligent supple tire, a supple tire with some integrity – WeatherVane Supple Tires!

WeatherVane Supple Tires are the kind of supple tires for you and me, just regular folks that like to ride bikes.
There’s a WeatherVane Supple Tire to be seen with: vivid, vibrant, living alive!
We should spend the better part of our time, yours and mine, with a WeatherVane Supple Tire like such as this. Maybe some of the integrity of WeatherVane Supple Tires would rub off on the rest of the cycling world – do your duty to cycling culture today!

Purchase WeatherVane supple tires, the tires with integrity and that special, spirited something TODAY!

available in the CRC webstore along with supple tire sauce

Cup of Noodles Linked to Randonneur Obesity

YUM

YUM

Researchers have noted the first signs of obesity in a randonneuring club of the san francisco bay region — located in an autonomous district (the bubble) that sits on the coast of the Pacific Ocean in central California. According to local experts, obesity has not previously existed in these randonneuring clubs, but the first cases are now being reported and have been definitively linked to the clubs providing instant noodles at the end of randonnees. Randonneurs have long thought that they were getting chubby because of having a beer at the end of a ride.

But that appears to be false wisdom, as researchers note the increasing uptake of chemically processed foods, such as instant noodles and pasta, and the addition of sugar, pastry, and bread to randonnee finish control snack selections. According to researchers, these changes — which have only been occurring over the past few years — have seen the intake of carrot sticks and fig newtons cut by half.

A cup of noodles is a great thing, but really, one should only have one after a big ride, like a populaire or something, a RUSA spokesperson explained.

The safeway checkout person and security guard had no comment for CRC investigative reporters.

Stay tuned for further updates and allegations as we delve further into this distressing emergency.