Category Archives: Uncategorized

Following spate of DNF incidents in recent randonnees, RUSA considers making aero gear mandatory

You hate having to wear reflecto gear, it is so nerdy. Lights that don’t flash and blind everyone just don’t make you feel safe out in this dangerous world of permissive DMV’s and texting, phone obsessed motorists.

All this you accept, so you can get some RUSA stats and impress your endurance cycling friends. But now there is something else you need to know.

You might need an aero helmet and aero bars too, to participate in RUSA events.

“This is fantastic news!” States Rupert Smedeley four time PBP gold medalist. “This is exactly what I have been complaining about for years. Aero gear is a life saver and can lower your randonnee elapsed time by up to 4.3%!”

Rupert is very excited about the potential new rule requiring aero gear

RUSA spokesperson Robert Pineapple offered the following statement:

“In light of the DNF rate of up to 15% in recent randonnees, the board feels the need to take serious steps to ensure that riders finish, no matter the cost. We look forward to discussing the need for helmet checks and how to ensure that a particular helmet is properly aerodynamic. RUSA is considering requiring a club furnished helmet of the board’s choosing.”

Stay tuned for additional information as it becomes available on CRC twitter, instagram and FB!

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Do Randonneurs have to be chubby to wear Lycra?

PBP legend Sir Rupert Smedeley says Lycra can look “sexy” on anyone weighing more than 8st (49kg) and that larger randonneurs don’t have to pull on a pair of tight-fitting shorts to look good, but it certainly helps. Is he right?

Rupert and Partner

It is a question that many amateur randonneurs will have asked at some point: does my belly/legs/bum* (*delete as appropriate) look big enough in this?

But according to Sir Rupert – the six-time PBP gold winning randonneur – not enough people think before pulling on a pair of Lycra leggings.

“Lycra isn’t the most elegant material you can wear if you are skinny (wool is much better for the skinnies) and professional cycling gear generally looks awful on pretty much anyone lighter than 8st,” he wrote in BQ magazine*.

He said the desire of so-called “mamils” – the revered middle-aged randonneurs in Lycra – to be seen in the latest high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit all too often results in a self-esteem crushing experience for skinny onlookers.

“Personally, I feel sorry for mamils,” he wrote. “When they walk into a cafe dressed head-to-toe in Lycra, you always spot people fawning at them and it is really sad seeing them wade through the admirers just to get a cup of joe at the starbucks.”

So what do randonneurs make of that?

Tim Haggdiggety, 48, from Norfolk, weighed almost 28st when he took up cycling four years ago.

He did so wearing a 15-year-old pair of ill-fitting rugby shorts and an equally ill-fitting T-shirt, which he never washed. He simply used it to wipe down his cycle and let his clothes air out on a chair in the garage.

Tim says his cobbled together cycling outfit did nothing for his self-confidence – or help his efforts on the bike until he got a high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit.

He believes he would have packed his bike away for good within a few weeks if he had not found something more suitable to wear.

“When I did that first 25-mile ride with a couple of thousand other randonneurs all in Lycra I was conscious that although I was trying to achieve something and better myself that I was probably the most ill-dressed person there until I got my high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit.”

“There is a sense of empowerment with it,” he says about pulling on his fitted Lycra outfit.

“If you feel that you look good then you are halfway there.”

‘Dad’s old hi-vis jacket’

When Karen Timbits first started cycling four years ago, the only clothes she could find to fit her were men’s extra-large clothing from amazon prime.

It made her feel like she was wearing one of her dad’s “old hi-vis jacket”. You know, the one that used to be bright yellow, but now is white and translucent.

“I felt like I looked like a pro cyclist who was trying to lose weight,” she says.

The 50-year-old from Chichester is a size 20 and now cycles about three times a week.

She says wearing properly fitting high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit makes her feel “like a randonneur” and is empowered by Sir Rupert’s comments.

“It is about looking good and it is about how it makes you feel on your bike,” she adds. “I don’t actually care what everybody else thinks about me because I feel I look good in my high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit.”

Karen, empowered in her team kit

Lynn Bye co-founded Fat Lad At The Back alongside her husband, Richard.

It sells cycling clothes for the “larger randonneurs”, with items fitting people up to a 60-inch waist or chest. She says her largest items would be regarded as a XXXXXXXXXXL size in most shops.

Expecting randonneurs who are overweight to be happy to wear jogging bottoms and a T-shirt on a ride is self-defeating, she says. They will get hotter more quickly than in specialist wear and can feel alienated among other riders.

“It is difficult for somebody who comes from an elite cycling background to just say ‘you can wear what you want’.

“It is like a supermodel saying you can wear what you want. But to a lot of people it makes a difference.”

She added: “What we have found is a lot of people want to get into cycling, they’ve gone out to buy an XXXL top and tried it on in the changing room and it looks ridiculous,” she says.

“We find that making people feel part of the cycling community makes them feel like they belong and makes them feel like they should be doing it.”

Europe is boring

“If you go to other places in Europe – in Amsterdam, or Copenhagen, or here in Berlin – people are riding around in everyday clothing,” she says.

“I think people in the US see cycling as a sport rather than a means of transport,” she says, adding: “I think it creates an image of cycling that is undesirable and unattainable.”

She also says the sight of a randonneur in full high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit may also dehumanise them because they look soooo cool and unapproachable.

“When people are setting out in their full high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit they don’t look human – they look superhuman.

In Europe it is just a person on a bike rather than ‘a randonneur’. They are so civilized and boring.”

He says there has been a mini-revolution in what is available for randonneurs to wear on rides, with specialist jeans and shirts available in lighter, more reflective materials, but nothing is quite like a high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit.

“In the UK, we are associating cycling with riding the Tour de France, instead of London Edinburg London” he adds, “and it is making it seem much harder than it should be to a lot of people, and is limiting the growth of Randonneuring, which we so desperately need.”

So folks, empower yourself today, with a high-performance Team Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting (available in our webstore) cycling kit TODAY!

*Big Fella Quarterly

an epiphany

It has come to the editorial board’s attention that we may be preventing some gullible individuals from riding their bike by attracting them to their fones and computers. Further, we have learned to our horror that blogging is considered to be a form of social media, however removed from actual social interaction that may be.

We, the editorial board, must reconsider our lunch time activity of disseminating cycling truth and beauty!

So please, while we examine our navels and work on our product line, turn off your device and go outside and play. Thank you.

Bike ride. Wheeeeee!

Can’t afford our new WeatherVane Breeks? Then get this classy Pin!

You say you can’t afford the pricey new WeatherVane Breeks, or perhaps you do have them and absolutely looove them but don’t feel comfortable in those boardroom meetings wearing the finest performance cycling breeks available today? Well, have we got the solution for you!

Purchase our WeatherVane Breeks Pin! Yes! Get a dozen – pass them out, wear them on your lapel at political rallys and shout your ideology in confidence; pin them on your loved ones, and let everyone know the stuff you are full of.

Our artisinally procured and designed pin will satisfy all your vanity needs for the foreseeable future – until we come out with our WeatherVane Bibs, that is

Purchase your WeatherVane Breeks Pin at our webstore today! Not to be confused with our competitors who are pushing squares wearing jorts.

Introducing WeatherVane Breeks for the Performance Cyclist

WeatherVane Breeks are equally suited to your spirited rides on MiniVelos, as well as on a fine Randonneuse

Finding the finest cyclewear for your cycling needs is no longer the arduous task of perusing amazon prime! Introducing WeatherVane Breeks the finest cyclewear that will add to your cycling pleasure nearly as much as a packet of illicit oscillating gnome randodecahedrons wiggling around in your trousers!

Our team of researchers have developed the WeatherVane Breeks in such a manner that wearing a pair will lower your randonnee times by 20% or more!

WeatherVane spokesmodel Susan B has this to say: ‘Nothing will improve your comfort on a grand randonnee more than a pair of WeatherVane Breeks! WeatherVane Breeks compare favorably with a 5mm thick layer of bagbalm in your nether regions for overall comfort and cycling pleasure.

Preliminary coast down tests have confirmed superior coasting speeds and corner adhesion while sporting a pair of WeatherVane Breeks!

Purchase WeatherVane Breeks in our webstore today!

WeatherVane Historians unearth original quote from Susan B

News Flash WeatherVane supple tire purchasers, worshipers and (we’d rather not think about it) lovers!

Intrepid WeatherVane Supple Tire historians have unearthed what is believed to be the original quote that somehow, perhaps by non-supple, standard tire purveyors, had been altered to the version previously and innocently published here in the pages of Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting.

“This new discovery is both shocking and vindicating for us at WeatherVane” states Jayne Hienie, Marketing and Product Placement Coordinator for WeatherVane Supple Tires. “Who’d of thought Susan B was thinking of us long before our product launch and media blitz campaign.”

here is the correct quote from Susan B, unearthed by Jayne:

“I think the Supple Tyre has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world and nothing has been as joyful to experience as a WeatherVane Supple Tyre. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike equipped with WeatherVane Supple Tyres. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood on the finest tyres available, WeatherVane Supple Tyres.”
—Susan B  (1982-)

Susan B leading a recent women’s suffrage rights ride on WeatherVane Supple Tyres

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tires and secure future happiness and freedoms for all thinking women (and everyone else, too) TODAY!

And now a quote from Susan B Anthony

WeatherVane Supple Tires endorses Women’s Rights and Freedoms to purchase and worship the Supple Tires of their own choosing.

“I think the bicycle has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood.”
—Susan B Anthony (1820-1906)

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tires and secure your future happiness and freedoms TODAY!