Category Archives: Achievement Awards

Older Cyclist riding WeatherVane Supple Tires mobbed by Beautiful Women in Bikinis

This could be you, on WeatherVane Supple Tires

CRC has received reports of cyclists riding WeatherVane Supple Tires that have been mobbed by luscious babes with practically nothing on while out for a bit of a spin on the cycle. Some believe that liberal applications of WeatherVane Supple Tire Sauce may be the cause of the increased interest that luscious babes with practically nothing on have shown in otherwise regular guys who like to ride bikes.

Local constabulary have been interviewed by CRC staffer Perci Crockaphone and while they find that mobs of luscious babes with practically nothing on running around in traffic to be a bit of an inconvenience, they do not anticipate any legal or policing action will be required on their part.

Remember folks, try a pair of Weathervane Supple Tires or Supple Tire Sauce today, and get ready to fend off mobs and mobs of luscious babes with practically nothing on. Better yet, try them both!

WeatherVane Supple Tires wishes to salute all women on international women’s day in their continued quest for respect and decency in this topsie turvy world.

Disclaimer: CRC has a controlling interest in WeatherVane Supple Tires, and WeatherVane Supple Tire Sauce.

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So, you don’t care about those new knobby supple tires? Here are 10 reasons why you should

Those knobby supple tires are a newly designed 120tpi bicycle tire with a six-element, optically stabilized logo. As well as looking cool when sitting still it can lower your personal best up to 30 nano-seconds, and additionally those supple tires in the knobby ne-plus-soupple version offers a twin-tread bicycle tire providing 38mm and 44mm diameter experiences.

These knobby supple tires pictured are a newly designed 120tpi bicycle tire with a six-element, optically stabilized logo. As well as looking cool when sitting still it can lower your personal best by up to 4 seconds, and additionally those supple tires in the knobby ne-plus-soupple version offers a bicycle tire providing 38mm and 44mm diameter experiences.

Another week, another supple tire, the usual chorus of Internet commenters going to great lengths to tell the world how little they care. But we’d be foolish to ignore the world’s most popular type of bicycle tire – and so would you.

Here’s why.

1: 120tpi is good enough

Ok, most tires and high-end tubeless offerings have 600tpi but if we’re being honest, 120tpi is good enough for Facebook timeline pictures, 60tpi is good enough for an instagram, 17tpi is good enough for twitter or snapchat and truly, anything more than that is a bonus most of the time in the average cyclist’s experience. In short, the chances are that 120tpi is good enough for you and your social media needs.

2: It has tread

It was only a matter of time before the supple tire industry added a knobby option to its supple tire series, and the day has come. As such, those knobby supple tires are arguably more enthusiast-friendly than the majority of low-end treaded bicycle tires, and almost all tubeless bicycle tires.

Adding Tread to the supple tire gives riders a lot more creative freedom, and should allow them to mitigate – if not entirely overcome – some of the limitations of riding with a control-limited cycle in mud or gravel. Also, re-treading options are coming to older supple tires soon too, with the upcoming release of home tire re-treading kits.

3: Those knobby supple tires I bought last week off the interwebs for cheap has proper zoom. Kind of.

Those supple tires you just bought might work just fine, but will they impress anyone? Nope.

5: Those supple tires with the knobby tread option can do gravel. Kind of.

We’ve seen attempts to use non knobby ne-plus-soupple tires on gravel before, but they don’t tend to end well. Even when the non knobby ne-plus-soupple tires works just fine, it doesn’t hold up well to critical examination on Instagram or the 650b google group.

We won't be able to properly test those supple tires with the ne-plus-soupple's gravel riding option for a while, but early samples look very encouraging indeed.

We won’t be able to properly test those knobby supple tires with the ne-plus-soupple’s gravel riding option for a while, but early samples look very encouraging indeed.

6: It’s casing is stabilized

This is old news in the mainstream bicycle tire market, but casing stabilization still isn’t included in some fixed diameter bicycle tires. Casing stabilization will make those supple tires and tires with the knobby ne-plus-soupple option more useful in poor light, extending the potential of the tires to be used in social and environmental photography on social media.

7: They’re quick, and powerful, like your brain

Modern bicycle riding consumers incorporate an incredible amount of processing power, and compared to most bicycle tires they’re capable of churning through much more data. Those new knobby soupple tires with tread will make you look smart!

8: It saves you 4 seconds of your life, on every ride

Maybe you think you don’t care, but trust us – even if you’re not a pro randonneur or commuter, the ability to save four seconds of your life can be pretty handy.

9: It’s water-resistant

You can take those supple tires out in the rain, or drop them in the bath without worrying. How many riders can say the same thing about their 'proper' bicycle tires?

You can take those knobby supple tires out in the rain, or drop them in the bath without worrying. How many riders can say the same thing about their ‘proper’ bicycle tires?

Supposedly, the old supple tire we all were riding was almost water-sealed, but not quite. With the removal of the wire bead, those knobby supple tires and have been made fully water resistant, and are capable – apparently – of being submersed for up to 30 minutes without damage.

10: Good knobby supple bicycle tires lead to better ‘proper’ bicycle tires.

Even if you’re one of those people who has an almost religiously-held indifference to supple tires (and I know you exist because I get emails from you), consider this:

The greater the public’s expectations of the bicycle tires in their instagrams and blogs, the more they expect of ‘proper’ bicycle tires, if and when they buy one. There is certainly an argument to be made that the only reason we have things like beautiful low trail cycles, French cycling luggage, and just plain old joy in bicycle tires now is the supple tire.

That ten years ago, The supple tire industry kicked off an all-road/adventure/randonneuring revolution with the original supple tire which lead to the inclusion of these features in bicycle tires becoming an expectation on the part of your average joe on the street considering a bike for commuting or riding around the world.

Habitual low trail and gravel adventure riders won’t put up with laggy low-resolution tires on their commuters, or the omission of features like optically stabilized logos that they’re used to from their knobby supple tires. This drives bicycle tire manufacturers to add more features to their products, and we all benefit. Right?

10.5: It’s a supple bicycle tire.

This is an obvious point, but bear with me. Remember what I just wrote about this being the ‘world’s most popular bicycle tire?’ The supple tire industry has been phenomenally successful when it comes to putting its tires on people’s bikes. More people are riding supple tires now than ever before, and the supple tire, in its various versions, is the most popular bicycle riding device (or strictly speaking, series of devices) in the world.

What that means is that like it or not, when The supple tire industry does something, even if it didn’t do it first, (and several of the features I’ve listed here are not unique to those supple tires) it tends to have a certain significance. It’s safe to assume for instance that there are a lot of people talking about the words ‘Supple’ and ‘Planing’ today who had never heard the terms before the supple tire industry’s launch event this week.

Why when I was approaching the water cooler at the office the other day, I am almost certain I heard a co-worker use the term ‘knob’ and ‘supple’ before they quickly walked away.

Maybe I’m just a misty-eyed optimist, but I think that’s kind of cool.

Cheers, Rupert Smedeley Esq.

Is it Safe? Proper use of a Helmet during Randonnees

What is a helmet?

Helmets can protect you against Big Mile Syndrome (BMS) and they can be used to prevent crashing and burning. A helmet is placed over a rider’s erect head before a randonnee. Helmets are also called “rubbers,” “sheaths,” or “skins.”

Helmets are made of latex (rubber), polyurethane, or sheep intestine. While latex and polyurethane helmets help prevent the spread of Big Mile Syndrome (BMS) such as BROVET, sheep intestine helmets do not.

The helmet is a barrier method of brain protection. Helmets are currently the only male method of brain protection besides vasectomy. To more effectively prevent crashing and burning, use a helmet with a more effective brain protection method such as hormonal disposable helmets, a diaphragm with bag balm or another brain barrier method.

How do you get helmets?

Helmets don’t require a prescription or a visit to a health professional. Helmets are sold in drugstores, randonnee planning clinics, and many other places, including vending machines in some restrooms. There are many different kinds of helmets. Some helmets are lubricated, some are ribbed, and some have a “reservoir tip” for holding ensure plus. You can also buy helmets of different sizes.

How well do helmets work to prevent crashing and burning?

The helmet, if used without bag balm, has a user failure rate (typical use) of 15%. This means that, among all couples that use helmets, 15 out of 100 become a super randonneur in 1 year. Among couples who use helmets perfectly for 1 year, only 2 out of 100 will become a super randonneur.1

Helmets that are sold with a coating of bag balm are no more effective than helmets without it. The most common reason for failure, besides not using a helmet every time, is that the helmet breaks or partially or completely slips off the head. Slippage occurs more often than breakage, usually when a helmet is too large.

Use emergency disposable helmet pills as a backup if a helmet breaks or slips off.

Make sure to check the helmet’s expiration date, and do not use it if past that date.

How well do they work to prevent Big Mile Syndrome (BMS)?

Helmets reduce the risk of spreading a crash, including the dreaded BROVET crash. Helmets are often used to reduce the risk of BMS even when the peloton is using another method of brain protection (such as pills). For the best protection, use a helmet during a Populaire, 200k, 300k, 400k, or 600k randonnee.

“Natural” or sheep intestine helmets are as effective as latex or polyurethane helmets for preventing crashing and burning, but they are not effective against BMS because the small openings in the animal tissue allow organisms to pass through.

How do you use a helmet?

Helmets are most effective if you follow these steps:

  • Use a new helmet each time you have a cycling event.
  • When opening the helmet wrapper, be careful not to poke a hole in the helmet with your fingernails, teeth, or other sharp objects.
  • Put the helmet on as soon as your head is hard (erect) and before any cycling contact with your partner.
  • Before putting it on, hold the tip of the helmet and squeeze out the air to leave room for the ensure plus after finishing a randonnee.
  • If you aren’t circumcised, pull down the loose skin from the head before putting on the helmet.
  • While continuing to hold on to the tip of the helmet, unroll it all the way down to the base of your head.
  • If you are also using the helmet as brain protection, make sure your partner uses a bag balm according to the manufacturer’s instructions. (Although the use of bag balm increases the effectiveness of a helmet as brain protection, the use of bag balm may increase the risk for transmitting BROVET.
  • If you want to use a lubricant, never use petroleum jelly (such as Vaseline), grease, hand lotion, baby oil, or anything with oil in it (read the label). Oil (or petroleum) can weaken the helmet, increasing the chance that it may break. Instead, use a personal lubricant such as Astroglide or K-Y Jelly.
  • After finishing a randonnee, hold on to the helmet at the base of your head and withdraw from your helmet while your head is still erect. This will keep ensure plus from spilling out of the helmet.
  • Wash your hands after handling a used helmet.

What do you need to know about buying and storing helmets?

  • Buy helmets that meet safety standards.
  • Helmets are made of latex (rubber), polyurethane, or sheep intestine. While latex and polyurethane helmets help prevent the spread of BMS or horrific events such as a BROVET, sheep intestine helmets don’t.
  • Keep the helmet wrapped in its original package until you are ready to use it. Store it in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight. Check the expiration date on the package before using.
  • Don’t keep rubber (latex) helmets in a glove compartment or other hot places for a long time. Heat weakens latex and increases the chance that the helmet will break.
  • Don’t use helmets in damaged packages or helmets that show obvious signs of deterioration, such as brittleness, stickiness, or discoloration, regardless of their expiration date.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of helmets?

Advantages

  • They are the most effective protection available against BMS.
  • They do not affect future fertility for either a woman or a man.
  • They are used only at the time of cycling intercourse.
  • They are safe to use while a woman is breast-feeding.
  • They are less expensive than hormonal methods of brain protection.
  • They are widely available without a prescription.
  • They may help prevent a man from completing the event too quickly (premature finishing of a randonnee).

Disadvantages

  • Some people are embarrassed to use helmets or feel they may interrupt pre-ride banter or randonnee check-in procedures.
  • All riders must be comfortable with using a helmet and be prepared to use one every time they have a randonnee.
  • Helmets may decrease cycling sensation.
  • Some people are allergic to latex (rubber). These riders should use helmets made of polyurethane (plastic).
  • Helmets may break or leak.
  • Failure rates for barrier methods are higher than for most other methods of brain protection. Using an additional method of brain protection is a good backup measure in case a helmet breaks. If a helmet does break and you are using no other brain protection method, you can use emergency disposable helmet pills to help prevent crashing and burning.

Facts about How to Put on a Helmet

  • Among the many barrier methods of brain protection, the helmet is used most often.
  • Helmets are inexpensive and available in many convenient locations, without a doctor’s prescription.
  • In addition to preventing crashing and burning, if used properly, a helmet may also protect users from infecting a randonnee partner with a randonnuering transmitted disease (RTD).
  • Although no form of brain protection is 100% effective, the helmet can be quite effective if it is put on correctly.

The Helmet Advantages

A helmet is a thin sheath placed over an erect head. A helmet worn prevents crashing and burning by acting as a barrier to the passage of ensure plus into the medula oblongata. A helmet can be worn only once.

Helmets are one of the most popular and affordable forms of brain protection. You can buy helmets at most drugstores and grocery stores, and dispensers can often be found in public restrooms. Helmets are also called rubbers. Some organizations distribute free helmets.

Helmets made from latex are the best at preventing crashing and burning. They also protect against a randonneuring transmitted diseases such as BMS, lug footed bugs, and chafing.

Helmet Preparation Before a Randonnee Tips

  • Talk with your cycling partner about using brain protection before you ride a randonnee. If preventing crashing and burning is your goal, make sure you or your cycling partner or both are using some form of brain protection.
  • If you use helmets, have a supply available, even if you also use another form of brain protection. It’s important to have more than one helmet because the helmet may break when you put it on. Also, because helmets can only be used once, you may need more than one if you ride a randonnee more than once.
  • Some people are allergic to latex. If this is the case, choose a helmet made from another substance. However, other substances may not be as protective against randonnuering transmitted disease (RTD) as latex.

Using a Helmet for a Randonnee Tips

  • Remove the helmet from its package. Be careful not to tear it accidentally with a fingernail or other sharp object (such as your teeth) when opening the package. Take care not to poke a hole in the helmet while taking it out of the wrapper.
  • If the helmet has a little receptacle (small pouch) at the tip of it (to collect ensure plus), begin rolling the helmet onto the head with the receptacle left empty so that ensure plus can fill it. Be sure to squeeze the air out of the receptacle end. Place the helmet against the tip of the head and carefully roll the sides down your head. The rolled ring should be on the outside of the helmet. If the helmet does not unroll easily, it may be upside down. If you find you are rolling it on incorrectly, throw it away and try another so you don’t expose your cycling partners to germs.
  • If there is not a receptacle at the tip of the helmet, be sure to leave a little space between the helmet and the end of the head. Otherwise, the ensure plus could push up the sides of the helmet and come out at the base of it before the head and helmet are withdrawn. Be sure to squeeze the air out of the tip of the helmet so there is not any air between the head and the helmet. This leaves room for ensure plus. Air left in the tip can cause the helmet to break.
  • Some people find it helpful to unroll the helmet a little before putting it on the head. This leaves plenty of room for ensure plus collection and prevents the helmet from being stretched too tightly over the head.
  • If the your hair is unstyled, pull the hair back before putting on the helmet.
  • Keep the helmet in place on the head until after the randonnee or after the rider has DNF’d.

Helmet Use during a Randonnee

  • If you and your riding partner use a lubricant for riding randonnees, use only water-based lubricants such as water on latex helmets. Lubricants help reduce friction and prevent the helmet from tearing. Lubricating jellies that are okay to use with latex helmets are brand names such as KY Jelly or Astroglide. Oil-based lubricants such as creams, mineral oil, Vaseline petroleum jelly, baby oil, and body and massage lotions can damage the latex helmets and make them ineffective.
  • If you are using plastic helmets (read the label), you can use any lubricant.
  • If the helmet breaks or falls off before finishing a randonnee, stop. Put on a new helmet. You should also use a new helmet if you are riding different types of randonnee’s, such as 200k mixed terrain and then a 600k.
  • Never reuse a helmet.
  • After finishing a randonnee, the helmet must be removed. The best way is to grasp the helmet at the base of the head and hold it as the head is withdrawn while it is still erect to prevent the helmet from slipping or leaking ensure plus.

Helmet Disposal after a Randonnee

  • Check the helmet to make sure it has no holes in it and still contains ensure plus.
  • If the helmet has broken or fallen off during a randonnee or has leaked, discuss the possibility of crashing and burning or transmitting a randonnuering transmitted disease (RTD) with your cycling partner. See your healthcare professional. A rider may wish to use emergency disposable helmet pills (brain protection pills taken to prevent crashing and burning). Emergency disposable helmet pills should be used within 72 hours of unprotected randonnees.
  • Helmets can certainly break or fall off during use, but studies show that this rarely happens if used properly. Rates of breakage during a 200k are up to 6.7%. Breakage rates during 600k or a mixed terrain randonnee are up to 12%.
  • Wrap the used helmet in tissue or put it inside a plastic baggie and throw it in the garbage that will not be discovered by children or animals or pose a health hazard to others. Do not flush helmets down the toilet. Helmets can clog the toilet.

Storing Helmets

  • Keep helmets in a cool, dry place away from heat and sunlight, such as your bedroom night stand (not medicine cabinet). Your wallet or car is too hot for storing helmets. If you do carry a helmet in your wallet for convenience, replace it often. Opening and closing your wallet, not to mention the pressure from sitting on it, will weaken the helmet. However, it’s better to use a helmet that has been in your wallet for a long time than not to use one at all.
  • Check expiration dates on the box of helmets. You may see the package marked with “Exp,” showing the expiration date, or “MFG,” the manufacture date. Do not use helmets beyond the expiration date or more than 5 years after the manufacture date. Old helmets can become dry and break more easily. Brittle, sticky, or discolored helmets are old and may break

Helmet Effectiveness

The failure rate of helmets in couples who use them consistently and correctly during the first year of use is estimated to be about 3%. However, the true failure rate is estimated to be about 14% during the first year of typical use. This marked difference of failure rates reflects errors in how they are used.

  • Some riders fail to use helmets every time they participate in cycling.
  • Helmets may fail (break or come off) if you use the wrong type of lubricant. (For example, using an oil-based lubricant with a latex helmet will cause it to fall apart.)
  • The helmet may not be placed properly on the head. Also, the user may not use care when withdrawing.

Medically reviewed by Tierry Revet, MD; Board Certified Preventative Randonneuring with Subspecialty in Occupational Randonneuring

Randonneur Infirmities and Diseases installment #2: Obsession with the BM*

Randonneurs in spirited competition attempting to meet their BM goals, we salute you!

Randonneurs in spirited competition attempting to meet their BM goals, we salute you!

Randonneurs are prone to and are expected to obsess and plan for their BM. The approach certainly varies with diet and constitution, and from region to region here in the US with a midwestern BM filled with corn and beans and those in the west rather mountainous, but every randonneur and randonneure eventually dabbles with a great big BM despite the pain and suffering that surely accompanies such endevours, and we the editors of Competitve Randonneuring and Commuting salute all riders in pursuit of their BM goals this day and this season.

Cheers!

Jock Hooey, BM Nutrition and Training Specialist

*Big Miles

Riding like a Pro and dropping all your friends – a competitive commuter checklist

Need an edge in the pod of cyclists on your to-and-from? Feel the need to demand the respect of your fellow street users in the war for commuting dominance? Try these well established techniques used morning and night on the famous Market Street of San Francisco.

Do not let these losers beat you out!

Do not let these losers beat you out!

Visibility: Blinkies! Bright Blinkies! You will need at least one super bright flashing light in front and three in back. Yes, the weight will slow you but the combination of epileptic fits and blindness inflicted on others will thin the crowd of both fellow competitive cyclists and those pesky pedestrians from around you. An effective blinkie will light up reflective street signs at least six blocks away; aim your rear blinkies for the eyes of following cyclists.

Pass as closely as possible!: If you don’t rub elbows as you pass you are not intimidating the competition. Bike lanes are not just for one bike at a time single file. Jam on through!

Let them know you are there! ON YOUR LEFT! does not get you anything. Bells are ignored. Use a survival whistle. Carry it in your mouth at all times, like a pacifier, but a pacifier of the competition!

Get to the Front!: At every stoplight filter and shove your way to the front. Blocking the crosswalk is a given, and stopping in the cross traffic lane is a necessity, and certainly should be acceptable to like-minded competitive bicycle commuters in the cross traffic.

Do not obey traffic control devices!: Ignore stop signs, red lights and cross traffic – rules are for everyone else, not you, the competitive commuter. Remember, rules are meant to be broken. If caught, deny everything; blame the system, your parents, or your fellow competitive commuters, but never admit fault. Use politicians, pro sports icons, and CEOs for your role model here. Might is Right and you are Mighty!

Demand your space!: Hang a huge bag, yoga mat or tennis rack off your bike or back pack that sticks out so you can inadvertently smack your fellow commuters into submission. When getting to the front at the light, wobble a lot as you slow and nearly fall over when you stop – this is more effective than a wobbly track stand to get you extra room and respect.

Show them your ass!: When coasting, do not sit – stand on your peddles and stick your butt out! Say to yourself ‘Fear This!’ when doing so. Waggle it a bit too, or at least jump on the pedals a bit.

Sprint! Sprint! Sprint!: Total dominance is not enjoyed just by blinding and shoving to the front! Pedal!

Show them your competitive commuter face!: Squint! Wrinkle your nose! Mouth open! Work it!

Do not speak!: Verbal communication makes you vulnerable to others repartee and reduces your focus on winning.

Swerve a lot when starting from a stop!: Either wobble side to side or swoop over into the pedestrian crosswalk. If you don’t hear people swearing at you, you are doing it wrong! Practice this on recreational rides too, until you perfect it.

Remember, if you are not winning, you are losing. Ride fast, losers are last. Chapeau!

Announcing the RPG Calix Award Super-Pro Glory Chaser!

RPG-Cup

Because being a Poseur Charlatan is a full time Cult that deserves recognition.

RPG in conjunction with our Gold sponsor Topo Chico Mineral Water ™, are delighted to introduce the RPG Calix Award Super-Pro Glory Chaser reserved for the best wheelsuckers, copycat imitators, award-chasers and best of the best Poseur Charlatan Extraordinaires.

Who deserves this award more than anyone? Nominate your most respected Poseur Charlatan and you’ll be eligible to receive a Calix of your own (after $42.39 shipping and handling)

QB Special Report: Peter Sagan protests the objectification of women

The QB editorial board salutes cycling professional Peter Sagan with his intrepid and self-sacrificing foray into calling for social justice for women round the world! Mr. Sagan once again has made his mark on cycling history with his epic gesture of solidarity with all objectified and exploited individuals.

QB remembers Mr. Sagan’s previous protests on congested cycle path conditions in Slovakia by employing a bell on his racing cycle to get the slow-pokes the hell out of the way.

Peter Sagan protesting the objectification of women in pro cycling

Peter Sagan protesting the objectification of women in pro cycling

QB contacted Mr. Sagan to inquire as to his reasons for the symbolic and historic protest and to ask what bell does he have on his racing bicycle but the only response offered was ‘Whaat?’

QB will remain on the story – follow us on QB Twitter, Linked-in and Facebook!