Author Archives: Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting

About Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting

Single and lovin it.

an epiphany

It has come to the editorial board’s attention that we may be preventing some gullible individuals from riding their bike by attracting them to their fones and computers. Further, we have learned to our horror that blogging is considered to be a form of social media, however removed from actual social interaction that may be.

We, the editorial board, must reconsider our lunch time activity of disseminating cycling truth and beauty!

So please, while we examine our navels and work on our product line, turn off your device and go outside and play. Thank you.

Bike ride. Wheeeeee!

Can’t afford our new WeatherVane Breeks? Then get this classy Pin!

You say you can’t afford the pricey new WeatherVane Breeks, or perhaps you do have them and absolutely looove them but don’t feel comfortable in those boardroom meetings wearing the finest performance cycling breeks available today? Well, have we got the solution for you!

Purchase our WeatherVane Breeks Pin! Yes! Get a dozen – pass them out, wear them on your lapel at political rallys and shout your ideology in confidence; pin them on your loved ones, and let everyone know the stuff you are full of.

Our artisinally procured and designed pin will satisfy all your vanity needs for the foreseeable future – until we come out with our WeatherVane Bibs, that is

Purchase your WeatherVane Breeks Pin at our webstore today! Not to be confused with our competitors who are pushing squares wearing jorts.

Introducing WeatherVane Breeks for the Performance Cyclist

WeatherVane Breeks are equally suited to your spirited rides on MiniVelos, as well as on a fine Randonneuse

Finding the finest cyclewear for your cycling needs is no longer the arduous task of perusing amazon prime! Introducing WeatherVane Breeks the finest cyclewear that will add to your cycling pleasure nearly as much as a packet of illicit oscillating gnome randodecahedrons wiggling around in your trousers!

Our team of researchers have developed the WeatherVane Breeks in such a manner that wearing a pair will lower your randonnee times by 20% or more!

WeatherVane spokesmodel Susan B has this to say: ‘Nothing will improve your comfort on a grand randonnee more than a pair of WeatherVane Breeks! WeatherVane Breeks compare favorably with a 5mm thick layer of bagbalm in your nether regions for overall comfort and cycling pleasure.

Preliminary coast down tests have confirmed superior coasting speeds and corner adhesion while sporting a pair of WeatherVane Breeks!

Purchase WeatherVane Breeks in our webstore today!

WeatherVane Historians unearth original quote from Susan B

News Flash WeatherVane supple tire purchasers, worshipers and (we’d rather not think about it) lovers!

Intrepid WeatherVane Supple Tire historians have unearthed what is believed to be the original quote that somehow, perhaps by non-supple, standard tire purveyors, had been altered to the version previously and innocently published here in the pages of Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting.

“This new discovery is both shocking and vindicating for us at WeatherVane” states Jayne Hienie, Marketing and Product Placement Coordinator for WeatherVane Supple Tires. “Who’d of thought Susan B was thinking of us long before our product launch and media blitz campaign.”

here is the correct quote from Susan B, unearthed by Jayne:

“I think the Supple Tyre has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world and nothing has been as joyful to experience as a WeatherVane Supple Tyre. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike equipped with WeatherVane Supple Tyres. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood on the finest tyres available, WeatherVane Supple Tyres.”
—Susan B  (1982-)

Susan B leading a recent women’s suffrage rights ride on WeatherVane Supple Tyres

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tires and secure future happiness and freedoms for all thinking women (and everyone else, too) TODAY!

And now a quote from Susan B Anthony

WeatherVane Supple Tires endorses Women’s Rights and Freedoms to purchase and worship the Supple Tires of their own choosing.

“I think the bicycle has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood.”
—Susan B Anthony (1820-1906)

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tires and secure your future happiness and freedoms TODAY!

A Word from our Editorial Board

QB Editorial Board

QB Editorial Board

It appears the Competitlve Randonneuring and Commuting website has been temporarily hijacked by Russian antifeminist fake news propagators. We were out marching and organizing for women’s rights and didn’t notice until now, so to allay any fears about recent content posted on the site, we’d like to share a poem:

The Day Women Cyclists Took Over

There’s something ’bout this day that seem good to me
When cyclists I ain’t like is showin’ love to me
Good food and the mood and the bike lanes is free
Peace and free is the frequency
This is the day women cyclists took over
No longer over your shoulder do you have to look over
Imagine, car is now over
Commuters get medals for being courageous soldiers
On dollars, it’s Paulette Porthault, Jeannie and Lyli
The mayor, the shah is Jacquie P
Hoods feel safer, families feel closer
We all drunk in love with no need to be sober
No more randbro hashtags or mansplaining about tools
We all learn how to fix a flat before we leave grade school
We get high grade Rivet saddles, at the lowest
Prices, we leave all cars lifeless
We puttin’ women on the podium, not behind it again
Even the word supple, we put it out of our minds
Monthly free doses of Motrin and Valerian
For your menstrual, it’s no more minstrel shows
Depictin’ women as ignorant simple hoes
It’s more love songs from the radio
Respect for the ladies who crush it, you can hear it in the flow
Egos aside, for each other we climb
Since they done give us a life, the whole world feel alive

Oh, when women cyclists take over the world
Oh, every woman, boy and girl
Oh, maybe one day, we will see
Peace and unity the way it’s meant to be

In solidarity,
CRC Editorial Board

WeatherVane Supple Tyres make YOU a Happier, Healthier, Successful Person

Have you wondered why some sixty-year-olds look and feel like forty-year-olds and why some forty-year-olds look and feel like sixty-year-olds?

Typical WeatherVane Supple Tyre purchaser enjoying the benefits of Supple Tyres

While many factors contribute to aging and illness, Dr. Gram Pettifogg discovered a biological indicator called telomerase, the enzyme that replenishes telomeres, which protect our genetic heritage and is found in huge quantities in WeatherVane Supple Tyres! Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research shows that the length and health of one’s telomeres are a biological underpinning of the long-hypothesized Tyre-mind-body connection that is incredibly enhanced by purchasing and possibly even using WeatherVane Supple Tyres.

They and other scientists have found that changes we can make to our daily purchasing habits can protect our telomeres and increase our health spans (the number of years we remain healthy, active, and disease-free).

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres and secure your future, TODAY!

THE WeatherVane Supple Tyre/TELOMERE EFFECT reveals how Pettifogg and Hiney’s findings, together with research from intrepid cycling colleagues around the world, cumulatively show that sleep quality, exercise, aspects of diet, and even certain beneficial chemicals that profoundly affect our enjoyment of cycling are found in huge quantities in WeatherVane Supple Tyres!  

Don’t ride stiff slow tires that contribute to chronic stress, negative thoughts, strained relationships, and randonnee elapsed times that are above the 50% percentile in your club, save yourself from dispassionate mediocrity by purchasing WeatherVane Supple Tyres today!  

Drawing from this scientific body of knowledge, Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research provides lists of foods and suggest amounts and types of exercise that are healthy, mind tricks you can use to protect yourself from stress, and information about how to protect your children against developing poor cycling habits, from pregnancy through adolescence. Dr. Pettifogg’s and Dr. Jayne Hiney’s research describe how we can improve our health spans at the community level, with neighborhoods characterized by trust, green spaces, and safe streets, all in one simple WeatherVane Supple Tyre Purchase!

THE WeatherVane Supple Tyre/TELOMERE EFFECT will make you reassess how you live your life on a day-to-day basis.

WeatherVane Supple Tyres are the first tyres with the gumption to explain how we age at a cellular level and how we can make simple tyre changes that will keep our chromosomes and cells healthy, allowing us to stay disease-free longer and live more vital and meaningful lives.

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres and secure your future, TODAY!

Purchase WeatherVane Supple Tyres in our webstore, today!