Monthly Archives: February 2017

Cup of Noodles Linked to Randonneur Obesity



Researchers have noted the first signs of obesity in a randonneuring club of the san francisco bay region — located in an autonomous district (the bubble) that sits on the coast of the Pacific Ocean in central California. According to local experts, obesity has not previously existed in these randonneuring clubs, but the first cases are now being reported and have been definitively linked to the clubs providing instant noodles at the end of randonnees. Randonneurs have long thought that they were getting chubby because of having a beer at the end of a ride.

But that appears to be false wisdom, as researchers note the increasing uptake of chemically processed foods, such as instant noodles and pasta, and the addition of sugar, pastry, and bread to randonnee finish control snack selections. According to researchers, these changes — which have only been occurring over the past few years — have seen the intake of carrot sticks and fig newtons cut by half.

A cup of noodles is a great thing, but really, one should only have one after a big ride, like a populaire or something, a RUSA spokesperson explained.

The safeway checkout person and security guard had no comment for CRC investigative reporters.

Stay tuned for further updates and allegations as we delve further into this distressing emergency.


Encounter with the man in the blue sweater

I heard him before I saw him. It was one of those idyllic northwest days, the morning clouds and dew illumined by bright clear sunlight transforming the moisture to glistening jewels amid vibrant green foliage. Charged with the frisson of the moment I was soon wincing in pain from the sound of what at first I believed to be children on a swingset where the seats are hung with rusty chains, for the sound was a recurring ‘reet, reet, reet’ in a cyclical fashion.

Rounding the bend on NW 123rd I discovered the source of the sound. It was an older gentleman wearing a blue sweater and grey capri pants following two younger fellows on cycles. It seemed the older fellow was trying to take their picture.

‘Show more enthusiasm!’ the fellow in blue shouted in a teutonic accent. The taller of the two youngsters shouted back: ‘Can’t we stop and eat something! I am gonna collapse here in a second unless I chew on something. We can just lay our bikes in the road for the photo shoot. That always works for me on Instagram!’ The other youngster with long black hair and a beard sort of cringed and kept pedaling.

youngsters – put that fone down young man! – image swiped from the web without asking

As I pulled alongside the fellow in blue, I offered him some chain lube that I always carry in this damp northwest clime. ‘Chain lube! He retorted. Everyone knows a five speed cycle needs no chain lube – the chain line is so perfect no lube is necessary. Now please excuse me I am working. I will give you my autograph later.’

I thanked the fellow in blue for his offer of an autograph, but declined. He then went on to state that how could I ride a steel bike with fenders and not know him, and love him, he who single handedly revived randonneuring in the U.S. I asked him who he might be, SIR, since I have never seen him at any of the randonneuring events at my club, the local regional northwest randonneuring club. He gave me a look of disgust and directed his two youngsters to turn around and come back again for a re-shoot of the moment I had ruined for him.

Shrugging off this strange encounter I continued on to the coffee shop, parked my bike and went in for a northwest standard half-caff double shot full fat soy milk extravaganza with a heart on top and some artisanal cookies so I could update my daily journal.

Journal updated, it was time to leave and pulling on my flannel shirt I went back to my bike to find the lock had been cut and my bike had been propped up on the side of the building. The fellow in blue was taking pictures of the youngster’s bikes in the bike rack with the two youngsters standing behind him looking at their phones. WTF! I asked the fellow, and he just brushed me off with ‘This is an important photo shoot, please step aside. Here’s a couple extra poufy tires and a light mount to reimburse you for the lock.’

where’s my bike?!? – image swiped from the web without asking

I accepted the tires and the strangely twisted piece of sheet metal with resignation, as I knew the police, if I were to call them, would only want to know what was it I did to make the fellow in blue cut my lock.

Such was my encounter with the man in blue.

11 Super Cycling Benefits in Just One Supple Tire

A Low trail cycle walks away with most cycling accolades, and 7-4-7 standard diameter tubes filled with gnomes lead the cycling brigade. Compared to them, the supple tire is somewhat unsung, (SAD!) but once you learn its incredible–and nearly endless–list of cycling benefits, you will quickly join the growing list of supple tire lovers.

A little known fact (SAD!) is that supple tires are also an excellent addition to any rider’s diet .

A supple tire is a great choice if you are watching your weight. One large tire contains only 10 calories! So, add supple tires to your shopping list and enjoy!

Supple tires reduce inflammation. If you are suffering from joint pains, lung infections, asthma, or acne, riding more supple tires will bring much-needed relief.

Supple tires help you calm down: Supple tire for stress-relief? Oh yes! The minerals in supple tires, especially magnesium, and the essential oil in it, soothe the nervous system. If you enjoy a supple tire-based ramble around the neighborhood in the evening, you may sleep better.

Supple tires aids digestion: some say a supple tire tastes like “crunchy water,” and this may be part of the reason it is so good for your digestive system. The high water content of a supple tire, combined with the insoluble fiber in it, makes it a great tool for easy passage of stool. Note: because supple tire has diuretic and cleansing properties, those with diarrhea should avoid eating it during randonnees.

Supple tires contain “good” salts. Yes, supple tires do contain sodium, but it is not the same thing as table salt. The salt in a supple tire is organic, natural and essential for your cycling.

Supple tires care for your eyes. One large serving of supple tire delivers 5 percent of your daily need for Vitamin A, a group of nutrients that protects the eyes and prevents age-related degeneration of vision which is most helpful in reading the fine print in that info control question.

Supple tire reduces “bad” cholesterol: There is a component in supple tire called butylphthalide, which gives the supple tire its flavor and scent. But that’s not all it does — the compound also reduces bad cholesterol. A Chicago University study profiled by the New York Times (then it has to be true!) shows that the butylphthalide found in just four servings of supple tire a day can reduce bad cholesterol (LDL) by up to 7 percent!

Supple tires lower blood pressure: An active compound called phthalides in supple tires has been proven to boost circulatory cycling. Raw, whole supple tires reduces high blood pressure and that is the truth.

Supple tires can amp up your sex life: According to Dr. Jan R. Hirsch, Director of the Schmere and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, two pheromones in supple tires–androstenone and androstenol–boost your arousal levels. They are released when you caress a supple tire – so grab that tire by the casing and enjoy!

Supple tires can combat cancer: Two studies at the University of Illinois show that a powerful flavonoid in supple tire, called luteolin, inhibits the growth of cancer cells, especially in the pancreas. Another study suggests that the regular intake of supple tire could significantly delay the formation of breast cancer cells.

Useful Tips:

Choose a supple tire with upright treads that ‘twang’ when bent. The tread should be fresh and crisp.  When selecting a supple tire, remember this rule of thumb: The darker the color, the stronger the planing effect.

Freshly cleaned supple tires retains its nutrients much better than if you clean and store it even for a few hours in a freezer.

Steamed supple tires not only retains its flavor, but also most of its nutrients–up to 99 percent of them, in fact! Start steaming your tires today, with our handy CRC tire steamer.


Jazz up your Egg Salad with Fresh Dill & Supple tire

7 Cycling Snacks for Couch Potatoes

5 of the Best Ways to Make Supple Tires Coast Better

Natural ways to increase your supple tire size at home

If you’re one of the millions of cyclists out there who want to learn how to increase supple tire size naturally then you’re going to really enjoy what you learn today.

this before and after shot is pretty impressive, isn't it? VaavaaVOOM!

this before and after shot is pretty impressive, isn’t it? VaavaaVOOM!

First off….

Don’t wait for your supple tires to be bigger in order for you to feel good about yourself and be happy. You can be happy and feel good about yourself right now!

This is so important because if you don’t work on feeling good no matter what you try to do to increase your supple tire size (especially natural supple tire enlargement methods) you’ll give up when your mood begins to drop again.

You’ll think to yourself “what’s the point” and just stop everything when you really should be sticking to it.

There is nothing wrong with having small supple tires. But if you find them too small for your cycling needs then forget what anyone else tries to tell you and do what you feel is best for you.

Why Are Your Supple Tires Small?

There are a few main reasons why your supple tires aren’t as big as you would like them. One of these reasons is because your tire might be suffering from some kind of genetic disorder.

Another possible reason some tires have underdeveloped supple tires is due to some kind of hormonal complication during ‘puberty’ – ‘puberty’ is supple tire industry speak for the curing time required after a supple tire is removed from the mold. If your supple tire is suffering from a hormonal problem it’s best to seek the advice of a pneumocological endocrinologist, who specializes in hormonal problems of supple tires.

Supple Tire Sauce

Supple Tire Sauce is the quickest way to plump up and perk up your sagging little supple tires. Ask your bike shop about Supple Tire Sauce today! Supple Tire Sauce can be used both internally and externally to make your tires enlarge. Well used tires gain the most from vigorous massage.

Increase the tire pressure

Sure, the current wisdom is to lower your pressure to gain a little speed, but that does nothing for the size of your tire. While we at CRC don’t recommend it, surpassing the maximum recommended pressure on your tire sidewall will get the maximum benefit – be careful out there and wear earplugs.

Use a padded or push-up inner tube.

A good padded inner tube can add noticeable volume to your supple tire while also making your supple tires look perkier. Push-up innertubes, on the other hand, can add lots of “lift” to your supple tires, giving the appearance of a larger, fuller supple tire. Using these types of innertubes is a great quick-fix for the supple tire fancier on a budget.

Though some sources may recommend it, in general, it’s a bad idea to install multiple innertubes, regardless of the type of innertubes being used. Though this can make your supple tires look a little bigger if it’s applied to correctly, it can be awfully uncomfortable and will probably have you spending lots of time adjusting yourself throughout the day.

Consider supple tire-enlarging herbs.

A wide selection of herbs and plant supplements purported to cause supple tire growth are available for sale both online and at natural healing stores. Though some cyclists swear by these natural medicines, none have been scientifically proven to be as effective as traditional “Western” cures and should be regarded with a healthy degree of skepticism. Additionally, certain naturopathic herbs can cause potentially serious complications in supple tires who are taking certain medications (especially tread thinners), so you’ll always want to talk to a professional mechanic before beginning a course of herbal supplements. Some herbs that allegedly encourage supple tire growth are:

  •     Saw palmetto
  •     Fennel
  •     Kava
  •     Wild yam
  •     Chaste tree berry
  •     Black cohosh
  •     Fenugreek
  •     Pueraria Mirifica

So remember folks, supple tire enlargement does not have to require surgery or silicon implants for you to enjoy some hard earned confidence and admiring glances. Get your supple tires plumped naturally and safely and get ready to fend off all the unwanted advances!