Last week’s Quarterly Bicycle Un Meeting/ Un Ride Audax sponsored by Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting was completely ruined by an hooligan cyclist of unknown provenance but certainly of known character that intruded on our important and historic ramble in the countryside.
Clarissa Peattebogg relates the incident:
Myself, Rupert, Gramm, Lance and various hangers-on were riding in a tight group, perhaps using the entire road, discussing in depth our next product release for CRC. We were enjoying an intense debate of whether our next product rollout should be our revolutionary chain stay mounted derailer or our wingnut quick release assembly to complement our line of supple items and other wondrous things.
Well, I am almost certain that we were interrupted in our important debate that will shape cycling and google groups discussions and fashions for decades at least five or six times by some impertinent individual.
Then this unknown person passed our peloton and exposed their posterior! I was so shocked I swooned into Rupert and caused a total pileup of our group. Luckily no one realized they were hurt immediately and Gramm was able to find an image of the perpetrator on his gopro. The damages and hospital bills have run up to well over ₤4500 and we have yet to start our group therapy sessions. If only we were able to identify the cause of our woes we could begin to recoup our losses and begin to rebuild our lives and product lines. Please help.
₤5000 reward! (payable in crc stock options)