Monthly Archives: January 2016

RBA Chief Gnat Cloud of the Muwekma Ohlone Randonneurs Speaks

RBA Chief Gnat Cloud speaks wisdom that we all should take to heart lightly like the soft brush of butterfly wings on the breeze in the willows.

RBA Chief Gnat Cloud, prior to the club opener 200k last year

RBA Chief Gnat Cloud, prior to the club opener 200k last year

In addition to the quoted wisdom that follows, podcasts of Chief RBA Gnat Cloud’s inspirational speeches and gpx files of the club rides are available at the RUSA store.

“It is in the darkness of their eyes that riders get lost – it is not my cue sheets as they claim.”

“I dreamed and rode into the world where there is nothing but Valero stations for receipt controls. That is the real world that we ride in, and everything we see in Bicycle Quarterly Quarterly Bicycle is something like a shadow from that one.”

“I can provide informational documents and a cue sheet, but I cannot make the rider read them. Sometimes, this makes me weep.”

“You have noticed that the truth comes into this world with two faces. One is sad with suffering, and the other laughs; but it is the same face, laughing or weeping. When people are already in despair, maybe the laughing face is better for them; and when they feel too good and are too sure of being able to make the next control, maybe the weeping face is better for them to see.”

“I did not see anything [PBP 2007] to help my riders. There were some who had more potato soup than they could use, while crowds of randonneurs had nothing at all and maybe were starving for more potato soup. This could not be better than the old ways of the club before we provided post ride snacks.”

“Once I felt the need to call the RUSA Police. I almost finished dialing the number before I reconsidered and just docked that asshole two hours for not wearing reflective ankle bands.”

“It is hard to follow the cue sheet of a great randonnee in this world of endless suburbia and of many unmarked intersections. Among those riders get lost and bonk horribly.”

“Every little snack we set out at the controle is for some finicky randonneur, and in that thing there should be happiness and the power to make happy.”

“And I can see that something else died there in the fourth attempt at planning our club’s 1000k, and was buried in the blizzard of opinions. A people’s dream died there. It was a beautiful dream.”

“I knew that the real good riding roads was yonder and that the darkened dream of it was here. That is why we are starting the randonnee out of town this time.”

“Sometimes dreaming of a good greasy burger and fries is wiser than eating one.”

“And while I stood there listening to the person making a crepe for me [PBP 2011] I saw more than I can tell and I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred manner the ingredients of all things in the crepe, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being. I still wish they would make waffles for us.”

“How could men get fat by drinking cheap beer and starve by not eating of the potato chips? I thought and thought about my uneaten snacks at the finish control, and it made me very sad.”

“I am saddened in my heart at the recent posts to the club Google Group. Why they cannot stop hijacking threads and stop posting off topic subjects is a mystery to my heart, and troubles my idle moments while processing brevet cards.”

“I can still see the bicycles lying heaped and scattered all along the path to the finish controle as plain as when I saw them with eyes at the start of the randonnee. And I can see that if they just would use mud flaps like I bloody ask them to their bikes and shorts would be cleaner. An RBA’s dream died there. It was a beautiful dream . . . the club’s hoop is broken and scattered.”

Get your Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting Patch!

you want this, don't you?

you want this, don’t you?

This slightly more succinct version also available

This slightly more succinct version also available

Dear Reader,

Here is your chance to show your sophistication and your dedication to minimizing interaction with those commuters you are dropping like a pro.  Drop us a line, maybe we will pause from pumping out the watts on our lovely bicycles and send you a patch.

Cheers,

The Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting Marketing Team