True Confession

When out riding my bike I used to pretend I was Lance Armstrong . You know, like in the Tour de France. I wore the kit, rode the team bike. It was a real high.

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But then I would “crash” and have to return to my mundane job in real life; that was such a downer. I would fantasize about the next time I could suit up and be “Lance” for a few hours. It became a real obsession. And I was totally addicted to the “Lance” high.

It was embarrassing to think that people might find out. Paranoia started to take its toll. I was a wreck. In retrospect, I’m sure they knew all along. I was spiraling out of control.

A few of my close cycling buddies confronted me and tried to broach the topic. Of course I denied everything. I was secretly ashamed. Eventually they had to intercede and got me to see a cyclologist.

The cyclotherapy helped. I got to the point where I could admit that I had a problem. My therapist was convinced that joining RUSA would help as part of my treatment. So I started riding brevets. I purged my collection of USPS jerseys and replaced everything lycra with the wool equivalent. I bought a lugged steel bike. I put away the Oakley sunglasses and put on a pair of RayBan Wayfarers. Now I even ride with luggage on my bike!

Sometimes I still struggle with the urge to be Lance, especially during TdF time in July.  But mostly I’m content and happy with my new life as a randonneur. I ride for enjoyment of the scenery, the fresh air and the healthy, natural high. I have my new rando friends. We’ve never discussed my past life as “Lance” and it doesn’t really seem to matter. I’m grateful to RUSA, my club and my rando friends.

Signed,
Anonymous

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5 thoughts on “True Confession

    1. Perci Tee Crockaphonie

      Hi Ravi
      I know your writing style. I am proud you have admitted half of your mental problems. Let’s meet up for a therapy session.
      Perci

      Reply
      1. Wilma Singh

        Ravi
        How narcissistic can you be? I mean, that’s you with the camera yelling at F. N. Lance. C’mon. get a life, get a recumbent.

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