2019 Wordy Stanza epic results in!

eager poets in line to slam and absorb in the early hours of the 2018 Dirty Stanza – image swiped from wikimedia commons without reading how to give credit for the image

We are happy to report that the 2018 Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic was a great success and included the additions of a competitive Social Security class, as well as the Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic, a 350 stanza ‘extra large’ version, in addition to the 200, 100, 50 and 25 stanza offerings. Nearly 2,700 riders were registered from 49 different states and 16 foreign countries across all events. Perci Crockaphonie of Lansing MI won the Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic in a time of 05:10:02, while Ketchum, ID native, and Queen of Pain Rupert Smedeley was the first trans finisher in a time of 28:27:02. Ted King of Mill Valley, CA repeated his 2016 win in the DK200 this year and has now won the event twice in three attempts. Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic and poetry slam rookie, Jean Haiku from Colorado Springs, CO, won the overall women’s title. We are excited to see poetry slam being thrust into the limelight as we have known for quite some time that it is an amazing place to adventure by bike. We are also very clearly motivated to continually push our limits and explore more with the Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic. We think poetry slam , especially here in the Flint Hills of Eastern KS, has an untold potential for bikepacking trips.”

For those who dont have a clue, here is a bit of background on Competitive Randonneuring and Commutings Epic poetry slam extravaganza that has been featured on MSNBC, Fox News and NPR.

The Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic are poetry slam bicycle races held annually during the summer in the Flint Hills of Kansas, starting and ending in the city of Emporia.[3] The race’s organizers refer to the Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic as the “World’s Premiere poetry slam Grinder”[4] Starting in 2006 with dozens of riders, it has grown to 2,750 registered riders in 2019.[5] The winners of the Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic are awarded a belt buckle.[6]

So folks, this year Emporia, KS will host the 14th running of Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic in 2019. The Wordy Stanza Poetry Epic has grown from a single, 200-stanza event with 34 participants to an event weekend offering 6 ride distances ranging from 25-350 stanzas with over 3,000 participants. It truly is the World’s Premier poetry slam Race. With the expansion of the “All Things poetry slam ” Expo, there is truly an opportunity for poetry slam enthusiasts of all abilities and fans alike to enjoy the hospitality of Emporia and experience why the Flint Hills of Eastern Kansas are the ideal location for poetry slam adventures.

cheers, the CRC staff

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Safety of Supple Tire Pumps Questioned

The Jo Routens supple tire pump can increase the size of your supple tires safely at home, just be sure and read the instructions, thanx

by Perci

Supple tire pumps were invented in 1970’s and they were the first supple tire enlargement devices according to history. Pumps are still popularly used as of today but before you decide to use one, you must know first how this device works and the dangers it may cause. More about the safety questions on supple tire pumps are answered in the following paragraphs. The easiest way to stay safe is to purchase a Jo Routens Supple Tire Plumper, read the instructions, and use the the pump in moderation.

About supple tire pumps

To take a clear view of a supple tire pump for those who have never seen one, it is simply a cylinder which is connected to a vacuum that fits closely over the supple tire. Air is not allowed to enter the tube and if ever air is inside it can be removed by the vacuum pump. The pressure forces the supple tire sauce (available at the Jo Routens web store) so that it fills up the supple tire erectile chambers making the supple tire hold more supple tire sauce than normal so that the plumping of the supple tire is bigger than the normal size. Additionally, the use of the vacuum device continuously is believed to cause permanent enlargement however this speculation is not true, not even with Jo Routens Supple Tires.

Effects of a supple tire pump

The use of a vacuum pump in any part of the inner tube including the supple tire is dangerous. There is a possibility of the tiny capillaries found within all high quality supple tires to become damaged and this may also cause internal bleeding (mechanics slang for internal loss of supple tire sauce). Long term use of a supple tire vacuum pump can lead to permanent damage of these essential capillaries that make supple tires perform the way we enjoy so much.

The positive effects of a supple tire vacuum pump are only temporary. Although it can cause tire plumping and that planing sensation, the planing sensation may lose quality as soon as the vacuum is turned off. Prolonged use of the pump can lessen the supple tire sensitivity to planing and the supple tire can possibly become out of round due to the unregulated nature of the extreme pressure common when the pump is used in a frenzied manner.

The main problem among supple tire pumps is that the amount of pressure optimal for each individual hand made supple tire (as Jo Routens supple tires are, of course) varies. The amount of pressure that is safe for one supple tire is unsafe for other supple tires; much experimentation with optimal pressure is encouraged. In addition there is also a chance that the valve stem may get caught in the vacuum. The high pitched squealing sound caused by this is tormenting to most supple tire aficionados. Beware.

Sidewall failure

The spectre of the dreaded sidewall failure often rears its ugly head the night of the first randonnee. Visualization of a happy ending to the randonnee can often be all that is required for avoiding this troubling and embarrassing failure to perform.

Alternative for supple tire pumps

We at Jo Routens believe that regular use of a supple tire pump is not a safe practice for supple tire enlargement and encourage intrepid cyclists to be satisfied with the size tire they have. At present, there are some modern devices like traction devices for supple tire enlargement that are considered safe and pain-free as long as they are used properly. Supple tire extenders are example of it. These are clinically tested and are especially designed for enlarging the supple tire permanently.

There are many quality devices which have been available in Europe for many years already and which are gaining popularity now in the United States. The reason behind this is because they are safe and effective. So don’t ever risk injury to the most important component of your cycle, which is your supple tire.

The intrepid cyclists utilizing Jo Routens supple tire pumps can relax with the knowledge that the best supple tire enlarging device that is available today and which are clinically proven to increase the supple tire size as much as 30% permanently and safely are available in our webstore.

Make sure that you use a safe supple tire enlarger in order to increase your supple tire size easily, quickly and painlessly. Read the instructions, and be knowledgeable of all the signs of premature loss of supple tire sauce and sidewall failure. Be safe out there folks.

Cheers,
Perci Crockaphone

Introducing the next cycling fashion craze, The Jo Routens Tam O’Shanter

WE at Jo Routens take fashion seriously, and when it comes to head gear there is absolutely no other company on earth in our league. Not even Rapha. Seriously.

That is why we are bringing you the latest Jo Routens fashions straight from Marin County. Everyone who knows anything about Rough Stuff knows that people endlessly talk about tamo. Tamo this in Fairfax, I did a tamo the last two weeks, I just LOVE Tamo. We know you probably were wondering what is this Tamo thing everyone is talking about, and we are here to tell you it is the Jo Routens Tam O’Shanter we have been prototyping in Marin County for several years. Now folks, now you too can get some fashion in your very own production version of the Jo Routens Tam O’Shanter available in our webstore.

Because we take cycling and fashion so seriously we are offering up to you, our worshipping and adoring customers, a wearing guide for a Jo Routens Tamo with complete confidence written by our very own cycling God Rupert Smedeley (please call him Jo, he likes it).

Take it away Rup – er, uh – Jo!

jo wears his favorite tamo

Jo sporting his favorite Tamo – image used without permission

Wearing a tam o’shanter for the first time can be a scary experience and fill even the most confident person with a number of “what ifs”.


What if my tam o’shanter doesn’t look natural?
What if other people notice that I’m wearing a tam o’shanter?
What if my tam o’shanter falls off in public?


Our beginners guide to wearing a tam o’shanter answers some of the common questions we get asked on a daily basis and with the right advice, #tam o’shanterWisdom and style know-how, you’ll be stepping out in your fabulous new tam o’shanter in no time. Sit back, relax and read through our top tips for first time tam o’shanter-wearers so you can achieve your very own #SimplyTamoStyle and wear it with show-stopping confidence.

Choosing the Right Tam o’Shanter

If you are wearing a tam o’shanter for the first time, you may want a subtle transition from your natural colour and style. Choosing a tam o’shanter that is close to your natural colour and cut initially can help you feel more comfortable in your new tam o’shanter until you feel more confident experimenting with new and different styles.

Our lovely Lyli shares her own personal tam o’shanter journey and how she loves to try out new looks as often as she can, encouraging other ladies to change your tam o’shanter style with confidence. Once you have purchased a tam o’shanter, you can ask your washer woman or dry cleaner to shrink the tam o’shanter into a shape which complements your facial features and give you a look that makes you feel like ‘you’ again.

a tamo completes your wool kit

Lyli feeling complete with her Tamo on – get your tamo on too, at our webstore

If you like to wear your hair away from your face, a lace front tam o’shanter is the perfect choice. A lace front tam o’shanter is also great for randonneurs and randonneuse suffering from complete hair loss as many of our range are fitted with a non-slip poly strip which is discreetly fitted into the front of each cap for reliable staying power day after day.

Each individual yarn is lovingly hand tied onto a soft mesh cap to provide a super-comfortable and super-soft fit under your safety bonnet. So play around with the style of your new tam o’shanter as if it were your own natural locks!

Take a look at our tam o’shanter size guide to explore our full tam o’shanter size range and how to measure yourself for the perfect fit.

Putting on a Tam O‘shanter for the First Time

First and foremost, you’ll need to prep your hair if you suffer from partial hair loss or still have natural hair to cover. If you have very short hair, simply brush the hair away from your face and pin in place towards the back of your head. You may want to spritz with some hairspray to keep this in place, taking care not to get any hairspray on the tam o’shanter.

If you have longer locks, or excessive nose, eyebrow or ear hair to conceal, tie your hair into two French plaits (this can be fun!) tight against the scalp and cross them over just above the nape, securing them at the top and bottom with clips or kirby grips. Playing a few notes on your bagpipes helps to calm yourself and your neighbors during this process.

If you are wondering do I need a tam o’shanter cap, and decide the answer is yes, place the tam o’shanter cap on your natural hairline and stretch it over to the back of your head. All that’s left to do is tuck away any stray hairs into the cap and secure in place with clips or kirby grips. Our Rupert (just call him Jo, he likes it) gets down to the nitty gritty of wearing a tam o’shanter and shows you how to put on a tam o’shanter cap if you want a little more guidance.

Now it’s time to put on your tam o’shanter. Unwrap your new tam o’shanter hold it up in front of with both hands, ensuring that the label is at the back. Tilt your head forward and place the front of the tam o’shanter on the front hairline and slide it on from there. Adjust until your new tam o’shanter feels comfortable and sits comfortably with your natural hairline. You can now secure it firmly in place with tam o’shanter clips or tam o’shanter tape.

One of our lovely guest writers and devout tam o’shanter-wearer Lyli, reveals how to put on a tam o’shanter at home and shows just how easy it is to rock a fabulous style in a few simple steps.

felted tamos are the best for inclement weather

felted wool tamos are best for inclement weather and high fashion populaires

And now you’re ready to step out with style…

Just remember to stand tall and smile as you debut your new look. A smile is the best accessory you could have with one of our beautiful tam o’shanters found in our webstore.

If you would like any more information about choosing a tam o’shanter or wearing your tam o’shanter for the first time, contact our lovely team of tam o’shanter experts who will be more than happy to help you take the first steps on your tam o’shanter wearing journey.

cheers, your friends in cycling purchases, Jo Routens Cycles

Under New Management – Welcome to Jo Routens Cycles

The dude you are gonna worship and defend for years, and someone else – stolen from the webs without asking

We at Weathervane Supple Tyres and Sexxy Breeks Ltd. are pleased to announce we have concluded a transfer of ownership that has been in the works for several years. Welcome to Jo Routens Cycles, the purveyor of tyres you know, love and trust and those breeks you wear everywhere but should wash more often.

Please direct your complaints and questions elsewhere, we are off house and vacation house shopping.

Cheers.

Rusa considers an update to reflective gear standards

In an interest in maintaining the highest standards for safety, RUSA has been testing a new reflective harness for night riding in comfort and safety.
Image-1RUSA has entered into a licensing agreement with a new supplier and is currently considering their options.

‘I have found that wearing the new device to be an exhilarating and freeing experience as I ride off into the unknown of the dark.’ says test rider Rupert Smedeley. ‘the only discomfort I have experienced was when a short occurred in my shorts due to bagbalm softening some of the electrical connections – quite a disturbing shock, to say the least, but we have since sorted out this problem with the supplier.’

An excited Rupert also added: ‘I find the USB charging feature to be most convenient and I find myself utilizing the harness both on and off the bike more and more!’

Asked when the new reflective device would be available to the public, Rupert replied: ‘We are still working on the details and the RUSA graphics but we hope to have them up and in the RUSA store in time for PBP. In the meantime riders hungry for adventure can obtain them from the supplier in Chicago listed above or in various places in San Francisco in the Castro and there is a big discount harness store on Folsom Street that has a good supply of new and used harnesses for the eager riders to possess and enjoy”

Thanks for this important update Rupert!

Ride on!

CUPIDINE RECALL NOTICE

We the editorial staff of Competitive Randonneuring and Commuting wish to apologize to our devoted and beloved readers for the recent shipments of adulterated Cupidine.

Certain forms of discomfort were brought to our attention via our instagram account, and we sincerely apologize to all of our loyal followers for those long hours worshiping the porcelain throne although we also wish to mention that silver lining, dry heaves are good for the abs.

New and improved shipments of Cupidine Extra (available in our webstore) will be sent out as soon as we obtain FDA approval from our good buddy Scott at the EPA – don’t spend that $50 in one place buddy!

Cheers!

the CRC staff