So, you don’t care about those new knobby supple tires? Here are 10 reasons why you should

Those knobby supple tires are a newly designed 120tpi bicycle tire with a six-element, optically stabilized logo. As well as looking cool when sitting still it can lower your personal best up to 30 nano-seconds, and additionally those supple tires in the knobby ne-plus-soupple version offers a twin-tread bicycle tire providing 38mm and 44mm diameter experiences.

These knobby supple tires pictured are a newly designed 120tpi bicycle tire with a six-element, optically stabilized logo. As well as looking cool when sitting still it can lower your personal best by up to 4 seconds, and additionally those supple tires in the knobby ne-plus-soupple version offers a bicycle tire providing 38mm and 44mm diameter experiences.

Another week, another supple tire, the usual chorus of Internet commenters going to great lengths to tell the world how little they care. But we’d be foolish to ignore the world’s most popular type of bicycle tire – and so would you.

Here’s why.

1: 120tpi is good enough

Ok, most tires and high-end tubeless offerings have 600tpi but if we’re being honest, 120tpi is good enough for Facebook timeline pictures, 60tpi is good enough for an instagram, 17tpi is good enough for twitter or snapchat and truly, anything more than that is a bonus most of the time in the average cyclist’s experience. In short, the chances are that 120tpi is good enough for you and your social media needs.

2: It has tread

It was only a matter of time before the supple tire industry added a knobby option to its supple tire series, and the day has come. As such, those knobby supple tires are arguably more enthusiast-friendly than the majority of low-end treaded bicycle tires, and almost all tubeless bicycle tires.

Adding Tread to the supple tire gives riders a lot more creative freedom, and should allow them to mitigate – if not entirely overcome – some of the limitations of riding with a control-limited cycle in mud or gravel. Also, re-treading options are coming to older supple tires soon too, with the upcoming release of home tire re-treading kits.

3: Those knobby supple tires I bought last week off the interwebs for cheap has proper zoom. Kind of.

Those supple tires you just bought might work just fine, but will they impress anyone? Nope.

5: Those supple tires with the knobby tread option can do gravel. Kind of.

We’ve seen attempts to use non knobby ne-plus-soupple tires on gravel before, but they don’t tend to end well. Even when the non knobby ne-plus-soupple tires works just fine, it doesn’t hold up well to critical examination on Instagram or the 650b google group.

We won't be able to properly test those supple tires with the ne-plus-soupple's gravel riding option for a while, but early samples look very encouraging indeed.

We won’t be able to properly test those knobby supple tires with the ne-plus-soupple’s gravel riding option for a while, but early samples look very encouraging indeed.

6: It’s casing is stabilized

This is old news in the mainstream bicycle tire market, but casing stabilization still isn’t included in some fixed diameter bicycle tires. Casing stabilization will make those supple tires and tires with the knobby ne-plus-soupple option more useful in poor light, extending the potential of the tires to be used in social and environmental photography on social media.

7: They’re quick, and powerful, like your brain

Modern bicycle riding consumers incorporate an incredible amount of processing power, and compared to most bicycle tires they’re capable of churning through much more data. Those new knobby soupple tires with tread will make you look smart!

8: It saves you 4 seconds of your life, on every ride

Maybe you think you don’t care, but trust us – even if you’re not a pro randonneur or commuter, the ability to save four seconds of your life can be pretty handy.

9: It’s water-resistant

You can take those supple tires out in the rain, or drop them in the bath without worrying. How many riders can say the same thing about their 'proper' bicycle tires?

You can take those knobby supple tires out in the rain, or drop them in the bath without worrying. How many riders can say the same thing about their ‘proper’ bicycle tires?

Supposedly, the old supple tire we all were riding was almost water-sealed, but not quite. With the removal of the wire bead, those knobby supple tires and have been made fully water resistant, and are capable – apparently – of being submersed for up to 30 minutes without damage.

10: Good knobby supple bicycle tires lead to better ‘proper’ bicycle tires.

Even if you’re one of those people who has an almost religiously-held indifference to supple tires (and I know you exist because I get emails from you), consider this:

The greater the public’s expectations of the bicycle tires in their instagrams and blogs, the more they expect of ‘proper’ bicycle tires, if and when they buy one. There is certainly an argument to be made that the only reason we have things like beautiful low trail cycles, French cycling luggage, and just plain old joy in bicycle tires now is the supple tire.

That ten years ago, The supple tire industry kicked off an all-road/adventure/randonneuring revolution with the original supple tire which lead to the inclusion of these features in bicycle tires becoming an expectation on the part of your average joe on the street considering a bike for commuting or riding around the world.

Habitual low trail and gravel adventure riders won’t put up with laggy low-resolution tires on their commuters, or the omission of features like optically stabilized logos that they’re used to from their knobby supple tires. This drives bicycle tire manufacturers to add more features to their products, and we all benefit. Right?

10.5: It’s a supple bicycle tire.

This is an obvious point, but bear with me. Remember what I just wrote about this being the ‘world’s most popular bicycle tire?’ The supple tire industry has been phenomenally successful when it comes to putting its tires on people’s bikes. More people are riding supple tires now than ever before, and the supple tire, in its various versions, is the most popular bicycle riding device (or strictly speaking, series of devices) in the world.

What that means is that like it or not, when The supple tire industry does something, even if it didn’t do it first, (and several of the features I’ve listed here are not unique to those supple tires) it tends to have a certain significance. It’s safe to assume for instance that there are a lot of people talking about the words ‘Supple’ and ‘Planing’ today who had never heard the terms before the supple tire industry’s launch event this week.

Why when I was approaching the water cooler at the office the other day, I am almost certain I heard a co-worker use the term ‘knob’ and ‘supple’ before they quickly walked away.

Maybe I’m just a misty-eyed optimist, but I think that’s kind of cool.

Cheers, Rupert Smedeley Esq.

Dealing with Bicycle Hoarding

there is help - call 1-800-BIKECRAP today

there is help – call 1-800-BIKECRAP today

Ever since 1994, Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. has provided help for bicycle hoarders and their families by providing them with a fresh start. We have helped thousands of individuals over the years in not only restoring their homes, but also in restoring their lives. Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. has numerous bicycle hoarding clean up options, which range from a complete clean out to organizing and recovering items of importance. Bicycle hoarding remediation is a specialized service which requires special skills and qualities to achieve a successful result.

We do not simply enter a home that is affected with bicycle hoarding conditions and throw everything out. The reality is that beneath the mountains of clutter and chaos there will be items of importance and value that should be kept. Our attention to detail and understanding of this fact places Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. in a category above and beyond our competitors. During the remediation process, we can package, transport and even store items while in the process of removing unwanted items.

One call to Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. and we can arrange a free assessment of your home. We will evaluate your individual situation and develop a plan of action that is unique to your needs. We will put it in writing so you know up front what our services include and what our fees will be with no surprises. We also offer 24 hour phone and email support to answer any questions that will be tended to by our professional and compassionate staff, all of which have hundreds of hours of on scene experience with bicycle hoarders and tending to their needs.

From moderate clutter to severe bicycle hoarding situations, we can help you through this. Contact a bicycle hoarding specialist today to learn more about how we can start the process of restoring not only your home but your life as well!

Bicycle hoarding Cleanup

Need bicycle hoarding help and don’t know where or how to start? We can help with all of your bicycle hoarding clean up needs and more. For 19 years we have been providing caring and compassionate bicycle hoarding cleanup services while offering additional help for bicycle hoarders and their families. Professional and specialty bicycle hoarding help can be difficult to find for the cleanup process. First, understand that bicycle hoarding is a symptom of one or more underlying disorders, but that doesn’t mean it is a life sentence. We can provide help for bicycle hoarders in many ways. We understand that bicycle hoarding and severe clutter can cause embarrassment and shame.

Please know that we have entered thousands of bicycle hoarding homes and nothing you have will surprise us. We are here to make your situation better, not worse so we are caring and non-judgmental, no matter whether you are hoarding old french crap or the latest carbon crap, we are here to help. Our main focus is to help you regain control of your home and get those damn filthy bikes out of there.  No situation is too severe and change is always possible.

Help for Bicycle hoarders

Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. was developed to provide compassionate help for bicycle hoarders. Our staff of bicycle hoarding experts, are all highly trained in the bicycle hoarding disorder and know how to keep you comfortable. Bicycle hoarding help should be compassionate and discreet. It is not your neighbors business why we are there and our unmarked, plain white vans will ensure your secret is safe. We want you to know our bicycle hoarding help is here for you and we will make a customized plan within your comfort level. Bicycle hoarding cleanup can go smoothly and without the stress and anxiety that has most likely built up inside you. Do not be ashamed, let our bicycle hoarding cleanup specialists help you through this.

Family Members – Before You Can Help, You Must Understand! First, let me say, I am glad you found our site. We are a free service for people to find the help they need to effectively deal with a loved one affected by bicycle hoarding. First, since you may or may not be educated in bicycle hoarding let me go over some basics. Bicycle hoarding is simply defined as the accumulation of items within a home that exceeds what is needed for a normal, functioning household. Bicycle hoarding cases vary in severity, from mild clutter to severe bicycle hoarding conditions, but in all these cases the same underlying factor is true: the daily function of the household has been compromised by the accumulation of bikes and bike related crap.

In our countless hours of experience, we have found that bicycle hoarding is often found to affect brilliant people. We have assisted over 2,000 bicycle hoarders with 70% or more holding past or present careers such as engineers, professors, teachers, psychologists, and even rocket scientists. Simply put, bicycle hoarders syndrome is an “intelligent syndrome.” This is important to mention because it makes the job for families that much harder. Due to the bicycle hoarder’s level of intelligence, they are able to hide the disorder and commonly they are placed into positions where they manipulate family members and loved ones so that their bicycle hoarding issues are minimized.

Additionally, bicycle hoarders are also found among the elderly who just hold on to bikes and bike crap filled with memories or lack the physical ability to take items to swap meets like they once could. Undoubtedly, there may be countless reasons that contribute to an individual that is a bicycle hoarder. Understand that your loved one most likely knows it is wrong, wants to stop, but is unable to control it. When you confront them, they will almost always become defensive and deny they have a problem. This is just human nature. Think of situations where you may have been confronted with something that you may know is wrong and may already feel guilty about. The quickest and easiest way out of facing that situation may be to become defensive or to buy some more supple tires for the pile out back.

Please realize that there is not an underlying psychological disorder or disorders that accompany bicycle hoarding. Bicycle hoarding is perfectly normal but really annoying behavior.

Some common reasons people begin bicycle hoarding are:

* Randonneuring

* Rivendell Rummage Sales

* Peter Weigle’s Flickr

* Heredity (grew up in a bicycle hoarding home)

* Fear of forgetting those stories everyone loves to hear (items hold memories)

* Don’t want to upgrade to 9 speed drivetrain

* And literally hundreds of other reasons we hear regularly.

The point we are trying to make is that “bicycle hoarders” are not simply too lazy to take out the trash. Bicycle hoarding is a complex disorder that requires much more than a good house cleaning. One thing that holds true is that unless the individual bicycle hoarder is facing eviction or city action, a forced cleanout will not “fix” the issue of bicycle hoarding. Besides, if you do clean a bicycle hoarder’s house without addressing the issue, they will just fill it up again. To truly stop someone from bicycle hoarding that has not sought help, they will need therapy/counselling, often times they may need medication, a cleanup of their residence by a company that specializes in working with bicycle hoarders, and good follow up care.

If you are unable to find help in your area, we can assist you. We have not only a database of bicycle hoarding remediation companies, but we can also refer you to counselors, therapists, support groups, etc. We can also answer many questions you (1-800-BIKECRAP) may have. The best advice is to start by calling our 24 hour helpline so that we can get you and your loved one the help that they need. Most importantly, be patient, understanding, and compassionate towards your loved one. We will help you handle the rest!

Bicycle hoarding Disorders

Bicycle hoarding affects all types of people, young and old, male and female. The type of clutter that is found within a household often times reflect the interests, hobbies or career of the individual, although sometimes the  type of clutter may seem completely random, also. Either way, the fact of the matter is that the bicycle hoarding is affecting the individual’s life, and may be affecting those surrounding them as well. In the end, the bicycle hoarder’s lifestyle may be dramatically altered, ranging from a limited social life to being cut off from family and friends as a direct or indirect result of bicycle hoarding. This ultimately leads to the bicycle hoarder becoming more and more attached to the clutter that surrounds them, relying on their “stuff” for social interaction and comfort. In the case of gnome hoarders, this may be truer, with the bicycle hoarder finding solace and companionship in their gnomes.

In our experience, we have found that the most common cases of bicycle hoarding exist within certain trends or labels. Listed below are the most common bicycle hoarding cases that we have worked with through our 16 years of experience. Some are actual medical terms, while some are simply descriptions of the type of bicycle hoarding that is affecting the home.

gnome hoarding can be a serious problem for everyone

gnome hoarding can be a serious problem for everyone

GNOME HOARDING

A person that acquires more gnomes than they can properly care for is classified as an gnome hoarder. The reality is, gnome hoarders typically begin their accumulation with the best intentions-whether saving gnomes, providing shelter, adoption, or one of the many other reasons for gnome hoarding-their pure intentions soon fade into the background as the inability to properly care for the growing number of gnomes becomes more evident. As the accumulation of gnomes grows, either through the steady acquiring of more gnomes or through the gnomes producing litters of their own, the situation can quickly spiral out of control. The loss of control often results in the gnomes often becoming sick or worse, dying.

More often than not, we encounter gnome hoarder’s homes that are also affected with the general accumulation of clutter. These homes can present extremely dangerous conditions due to the safety issues contributed to the clutter in addition to the gnome waste issues that are present within the home. These homes need to be addressed by professionals that specialize in gnome hoarding and bicycle hoarding scenarios before the home is safe for re-occupancy. Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. offers a cleanup program that is dedicated and specific to your particular needs, while providing the remediation services needed in these scenarios to restore the home to a safe, clean, and functional living environment. Please visit our GNOME HOARDING page for more information and very touching pictures.

BEAUSEAGE-O-MANIA – bicycle trash hoarding

Beauseage-o-mania is defined as the hoarding of pure bicycle trash. Although pure beauseage-o-mania  hoarding cases – where there are no items of value, sentiment, or functional use – are rarely seen, they do exist. When we encounter these types of bicycle hoarding cases, generally the overall conditions of the home are despondent. Extremes have usually been met, such as utilities being completely shut off, and the home being contaminated with a combination of twine, shellac, crocs, and dirty old cloth bar tape. These individuals in general tend to have more severe symptoms of mental disorder than the average bicycle hoarder. These symptoms require specialized treatment from not only a mental health standpoint, but also in addressing the conditions of the home. Only a company that values the human element like Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. can be trusted to compassionately tend to the remediation needs of these individuals.

BICYCLE LARDER HOARDING – hoarding of bicycle food

Bicycle larder hoarding, or more commonly known as bicycle food hoarding, is attributed to the fear of losing everything. This fear drives the individual to stockpile items that may assist in a perceived “survival mode,” where they are forced to live off of their stockpile of ensure, malto powder, and gel shots.

Although everyone should have some kind of reserve in case of emergency situations, such as a natural disaster or losing a job, these individuals take this ideal to an extreme by turning their home into a storage unit for their excessive stockpile of food and other items. The large majority of the items in these scenarios go remain untouched and unused until they try to give them to friends when on bike rides. Bicycle food hoarders are difficult to reason with, taking as example the fact that many of them do not see any validity behind expiration dates for food items.

worries over not getting credit for a ride due to not having a receipt causes randonneurs to hoard receipts

worries over not getting credit for a ride due to not having a receipt causes randonneurs to hoard receipts

RANDONNEE RECEIPT HOARDING

A randonnee receipt hoarder is a bicycle hoarder that has large piles of receipts from quicky marts and safeways throughout their home that far exceeds the normal amount that an average household may contain. These individuals will retain the receipts with the intention in their minds that they will need them at the end of some randonnee in the future or to confirm that a randonnee in the past actually was ridden. The piles continue to increase in size and scope to the point where entire rooms are filled with potential proof of passage for rides and troubling questions from RBA’s that never materialize.

Additionally, the amount of receipts that fill the home becomes so extensive that it would take dozens upon dozens of trips to the recycling center to remove all of the receipts. Bike Crap Be Gone, Inc. has worked with numerous randonneurs that have needed our help in receipt removal. In these cases, we will transport all receipts to a local RBA for processing. Also, our vehicles are large enough so that we can cut the dozens of trips to the RBA down to a handful, and ultimately fulfill that original intention of providing proof of passage that the randonnee receipt hoarder intended.

SUPPLE TIRE-AHOLICS

When we meet with bicycle hoarders that appear to be supple tire-aholics, we understand that this is not the case most of the time. Remember that most bicycle hoarders over time lose a large part of their social lives and find themselves feeling alone with just a quarterly magazine for information, and without the joys and happiness their lives were once filled with before they learned of supple tires.

The thrill of a supple tire creates a high, and a release of endorphins that gives them a quick boost of happiness and joy we call the “high plane”. Unfortunately as they drive home with their supple tires, or the supple tires are being shipped to their residence the high is a little less and by the time the supple tires arrive at their homes, the high is completely gone. The supple tires were not truly needed in the first place and with the rush of positive feelings now gone, the supple tires are simply placed in a pile, and rarely will any of them be used.

This replacement of true emotions and positive feelings by collecting supple tires can not only quickly fill a residence, but can put the bicycle hoarder in a terrible financial state with credit cards racking up large balances. The stress of compiling debt and growing clutter compounds the depression. This is yet another way a bicycle hoarders lack of true interactions with people and finding healthy ways to get happiness from riding bikes spirals them deeper and deeper into a world of isolation, clutter and financial debt.

We work with many bicycle hoarders that suffer from compulsive supple tire purchasing. Through our understanding of this disorder and our compassion, patience and desire to help we can help the bicycle hoarder de-clutter their homes, return many of the unused and unopened items and let us help bicycle hoarders find ways to bring fulfillment and self-worth back into their lives. Supple tires will never replace the people and real things that bicycle hoarders are so often missing. Call us today if you or a loved one’s suffer from compulsive purchasing of supple tires and let us help you get back on track.

Bicycle hoarding Help

Our bicycle hoarding clean up help is more than just a disposal service. Our bicycle hoarding experts will help you sort through your contents, to make sure we recover all items that every functioning household should have, plus all valuables, sentimental items, important documents, statements, bills and photographs. We will work by your side to make sure your residence is cleaned while not causing any additional stress, anxiety or frustration.

Bicycle hoarding cleanup can go smoothly.

Questions? Call 1-800-BIKECRAP, and soon we will leave you feeling great in your new home. Call our bicycle hoarding help line today with any questions. Our bicycle hoarder help will soon be available in many parts of the country, and if we can’t personally help you, we will refer you to a legitimate company that can.

Portable Grill for Cycles Road Test

As announced recently on Instagram here is our product review of a portable grill for cycles.

We have all been there – enjoying the wilds by the campfire and wishing we had some way to grill our sports energy bars and boil some water for our herbal tea. Well, we here at CRC don’t accept advertising so we can call em like we see em, and have tested the latest product and here is our unchangeable and irrevocable pronouncement on this device.

cute grill attached to a pink 29er is the subject of this review

cute grill attached to a pink 29er is the subject of this review

Packaging

There was no packaging available for review and comment, the grill came pre-installed on a tarted up pink 29er mountain bike.

Workmanship/Finish

The grill was not chromed. We only like chromed grills as powdercoating scuffs, smears, and peels when placed over a flame and makes our weenies smell and taste funny.

Fitment

The grill seemed to fit nicely although it was not perfectly level.

Luggage

No luggage was included with the grill, but it seems as though it might be suitable perch for a basket as well as a couple of bags; but we did not investigate this possibility.

Planing/tubing selection

The tubes were not thin wall. The grill did not plane. Roll down tests were inconclusive. Wind tunnel tests were not performed. It is important to note that there were no open brazing holes for gnomes to be inserted or to obtain oxygen and fresh air.

Geometry

The grill did not appear to be low trail.

Fenders/lighting

We did not notice fenders or lights on the grill.

Grilling

The grill was difficult to remove by firelight for use on the fire, and several small pieces of hardware were lost in the darkness. The grill burned our fingers painfully after we tried to move it while in use. The space between the tubes was much too large and our items to be grilled continually fell into the ashes. As we continued to struggle with the grill, we were shocked by a high pitched screaming which we thought were gnomes inside the grill trying to escape.

The grill was quickly removed from the fire (hence the burned fingers) although we were unable to determine if any gnomes were damaged. Later, we realized the screaming sound was actually our spicy vegan sausages sizzling.

We recommend the application of stickers that read ‘caution, hot while in use’ on the grill.

Conclusion

We simply cannot recommend this portable grill for grilling. Use as a grill does not even seem to have  been considered at all in the design, which is completely baffling to the road tester. Perhaps if you need a rack for carrying things on your tarted up pink 29er mountain bike, this grill is probably just fine, but we did not investigate this feature and cannot in good conscience endorse the use of a grill as a rack.

Disclosure: CRC does not accept advertising nor does it manufacture product – we call em like we see em.

Gnome Care for the Beginner

We are continuing our popular series “How to not embarrass yourself when Randonneuring” with a short article on gnome care. This article discusses ways to look after your gnome and keep your bike planing like the dickens.

Enjoy!

A healthy gnome is a joy to behold

A healthy gnome is a joy to behold

Perhaps you have just bought a gnome on the spur of the moment or drunkenly bid on one at a charity auction (and won!) and you have no idea on how to care for it. Maybe you think you know the basics but would like to learn more; like what to do with gnome droppings when cleaning the frame, or what food and plants you can give to your gnome.

If you have just returned home with your new gnome you are going to need to know how to correctly introduce your newly purchased friend in to his or her new home in your randonneuse. Like most people around bikes, your gnome can easily get burned out and sometimes even get sick of cycling. To minimize the chance of this happening, read on and keep those gnomes happy and oscillating!

If you read over all the articles we have on this site, by the time you have finished you could have earned an online certificate in gnome care if you were to have enrolled in our online course in gnome care so give enrolling a chance and then you could earn extra money in your spare time as a certified professional gnome care giver.

Regardless of your enrollment status, if you study all of our articles you can be confident that you know what you are talking about when it comes to gnomes, and that you are an expert who can help friends, family and passersby learn more about how to care for them.

A gnome is an easy creature to keep and care for. They take up relatively little room in your home. They don’t bark loudly or leave hairs on your sofa, they don’t whine to be let out for a randonnee, they usually remember to put the toilet seat down, and also they don’t require expensive treats.

All they need is a low trail cycle with standard size thin wall tubing, a little tonic in the frame to make it less harmful to them, and regular feeding every day, and that’s it. Do that and you won’t hear a peep out of them.

Introducing your gnome to your frame

This can be the most important step in gnome care. First we’ll tell you what not to do.

Jamming them down the seat tube

Yeah, we know, that is the biggest hole in your frame, but put the gnomes in your seat tube and they will get caught in your bottom bracket and you’ll get all kinds of creaking noises. Cheap carbon bikes with gnomes stuffed down the seat tube by non-union labor always creak. To insert your gnome properly you need to get a gnome hypodermic available from our online store and inject them into the brazing vent holes of your frame. Once the gnomes are inside they will expand and and start oscillate and will not fall out.

A frame with properly inserted gnomes makes a ‘ping’ sound when flicked with a finger, not a ‘thunk’.

Adding Too Many Gnomes at Once

What low trail randonneuse owner isn’t eager to fill the frame with gnomes? Unfortunately adding too many gnomes all at once is another common new gnome installer mistake. Until the beneficial bacterial colonies have fully established within the frame, the randonneuse cannot safely support a full load of gnomes. Only add a couple of small hardy gnomes initially. Wait a week or so until both the ammonia and nitrite levels have risen to optimal levels before adding more gnomes. You can buy testing equipment at our online store.

Overstocking

Even after getting through the initial startup, it’s very common for new owners to overstock the randonneuse. Although an experienced person may successfully keep a troupe of twenty gnomes in randonneuse, it would be disastrous for a beginner to attempt it.

Debate exists over the inch per cm of inserted seat post rule, but it provides a good basic yardstick from which to start. I recommend taking eighty percent of the net seat tube length after seat post insertion as the maximum number of gnomes to keep in the frame. The net seat tube length is the amount of seat post visible after the powdercoating and polishing.

For example, let’s say a randonneuse holds 16 cm of seat post after the frame saver and internal wiring have been added. Multiplying 16 times 80% yields a result of 12.8 – or about 13 gnomes as a maximum number for this frame. It is always wise to go under the maximum to rather than all over. Remember, crowded gnomes do not oscillate freely.

Keeping Incompatible Gnomes

New randonneuse owners often choose gnomes that look appealing to them, without knowing the environmental needs of the gnome. Some gnomes may fight with one another, or require widely different internal frame conditions. Either way, they should not be kept together. Always research each variety of gnome before choosing frame mates. Select peaceful gnomes that thrive in similar air conditions. Older gnomes up for adoption are available at our online store.

Overfeeding

The number one mistake made by gnome owners other than overstocking is overfeeding their gnomes. Gnomes are opportunistic and will seek food at all times. Just because they appear hungry, doesn’t mean they need to be fed all the time, so don’t fall for those big sad puppy eyes when they are getting unruly.

Feed them no more food than is completely consumed in five minutes or things will get messy fast in your randonneuse.

During startup, feed gnomes no more than once per day, and during critical times when there is an approaching grand randonnee, withhold feeding for a day or two to reduce the wastes being produced within the randonneuse. Gnomes can easily go several days without food, and not suffer ill effects. This is important to know when shipping your bike to PBP.

Not Testing the Air

New owners aren’t magically given full knowledge of the oscillation cycle, and the need to monitor the air chemistry in their randonneuse. As a result they often are unaware of the need to test their air, and fail to take steps to deal with harmful toxins.

When the frame is first set up, it should not be ridden for a day or two. Before adding the gnome to the randonneuse, the pH, ammonia, and nitrite levels within the frame should be tested for a baseline record. During the startup cycle it is important to test the ammonia and nitrites often (see Nitrogen Cycles website for details). Once the randonneuse’s internal environment is well established, test the air monthly to be aware of unseen problems that may be brewing. If gnomes suddenly die, test the air to see if anything has changed. Testing equipment is available in our online store.

Tips for Getting Gnomes to Lay Eggs

Do your gnomes lay their eggs in the tool box, on the ground, in tall grass — everywhere but in the low trail randonneuse? Sometimes gnomes can be very stubborn about this habit. These tips will encourage your gnomes to lay in their low trail randonneuses, making sure you get the maximum number of fresh, clean eggs.

Make laying eggs in your bike appealing. Ensure that your randonneuse is kept in a dark, quiet corner of the house. Gnomes have the instinct to lay their eggs in a safe place.

Train them with a “nest egg.” You can purchase fake ceramic eggs from online, or use a golf ball. When your gnomes get ready to start laying, placing the fake egg in bottle cage will give them the idea that the bottle cages are “the place” to lay their eggs, too, if the egg will not fit inside the frame.

How to feed a gnome

You are probably very excited about your new gnomes and want to feed them as soon as you can, to watch them eat. It is better to wait and allow the gnomes some time to settle before you feed them, then when you do for the first time, be careful to not overfeed them.

There are many different gnome foods available in cycle stores and you should choose one that comes recommended or is from a well-known gnome food brand. TetraGnome® is the market leader. The food normally comes in the form of flakes and contains all the nutrients your gnome needs, be sure to get a food brand that is specifically for gnomes and not elves or your gnome may become depressed and negatively affect your randonnee elapsed time and/or stats. You can purchase TetraGnome® gnome flakes in our on line store.

A good gnome food in flake form is all you ever need to feed your gnome. Some gnomes owners do like to feed their gnomes fresh food from time to time, which although it sounds like a nice thing to do, it can easily bring disease or pollute the gnome’s environment that would not have happened otherwise.

It can be exciting to watch your gnomes eat live food so if you really want to do it, get some frame fleas (daphnia) from your pet shop rather than catching them from a constructeur’s workshop. Don’t put too many frame fleas in to the low trail cycle at a time as they can quickly start to decompose and cause odor problems.

Remember, only buy what you need and use it while it is fresh.

Did you know that over-feeding is the most common problem of gnomes dying? If you over-feed the gnomes, the leftover food will remain in the low trail cycle and pollute the frame, feeding your gnome’s developing diseases. Only feed the gnomes as much food as they can completely consume in five to ten minutes.  However, feeding should be done twice a day or more during randonnees.

A great invention is the frame bag feeding rig, which will keep all the food in one place. This way the gnomes know exactly where to find the food. It is also especially important for you to not accidentally consume your gnome flakes while on a randonnee, even if you are bonking horribly, as most randonneurs never recover from gnome flake consumption.

Symptoms your gnome maybe ill

Gnome is gasping at the frame brazing vent holes to get oxygen

Gnome is oscillating abnormally

Gnome is obsessed with instagram/snapchat, etc.

Gnome is oscillating only in the top tube

Gnome is showing swelling or lumps on its skin

Gnome is not laughing at your jokes/refuses to listen during story time

Gnome is very thin or exhibits strange bloating

Clean the frame partially

The main reason gnomes get ill is because of a polluted frame. Make sure that there is no excess food in the randonneuse that is left to rot and always clean the frame at least partially on a regular basis.

If the randonneuse gets too hot the oxygen level in the frame will quickly drop and the gnomes will be distressed, showing signs such as crowding at the brazing vent holes to get air. Cleaning products are available in our online store.

Shade the low trail cycle

You should shade the low trail cycle from sunlight with a cloth or towel, or in a walk-in cooler at the quicky mart. In extreme situations, place a bag of ice cubes on the top of the frame to cool the frame down quickly and you may save your gnomes from a horrible death.

Gnome Fungus Disease

One of the most common diseases in gnomes is fungus disease. The fungus is usually in the frame but the gnome will only become affected if its immune system is low, this can normally happen following any randonnee of 400k or more. Obvious signs to look for are small fluffy spots or dots around the brazing vent holes of the randonneuse. If these are observed open up the frame and inspect your gnomes closely.

If you have many gnomes in a low trail cycle and you notice this condition on maybe only one or two gnomes, they should be removed as quickly as possible from the low trail cycle to stop other gnomes from also contracting the fungus disease. Place the affected gnomes in your waterbottle (don’t drink from it!) or inside the baggy they give you for your brevet card.

Gnome fungus treatment

You can place these gnomes in an isolation randonneuse and buy an anti-fungal treatment from our online store and treat them. Another method to help infected gnomes is to keep them in the same cycle, add 3% of salt to the frame and leave them in it for around 15 minutes. This translates to about 30g of salt to 1 liter of frame. Be warned, do not use table salt as it contains iodine, which can will harm the gnomes.

While you do not have much control over whether your gnomes will contract a fungus disease or not, you can do your part by keeping the randonneuse clean and ensuring there are no sharp objects in the randonneuse that could damage your gnome.

This brings us to the end of the guided tour

http://www.gnome care.org has many other pages that cover certain topics in a more in-depth TLDR sort of way and these topics includes whole sections on the different types and varieties of gnomes and common gnome diseases. However information on breeding gnomes is still in the “this section is still in its infancy” stage and is in the process of been developed. It does however contain information on the 10 most commonly found gnome breeding diseases, including Dropsy, Cloudy Eye, White Spot or Ick to mention just a couple.

Finally our store offers a selection of products with an ever growing selection of Gnome Supplies most of which are very competitively priced.

Thanks in advance for visiting our sister website, http://www.gnome care.org

 

Wrap-Up: Second Conference on Planing

Last week the Second Conference on Planing was held in Brussels, Belgium. Intrepid CRC reporter Persephone Crockaphone got the scoop for our readers. Here are some highlights in the form of comments from attendees and a sampling of photos. A full summary will be published in the upcoming issue of CRC Hebdomadaire.

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“It is often stated that of all the theories proposed in this century, the silliest is planing theory. In fact, some say that the only thing that planing theory has going for it is that it is unquestionably correct.”  – M. Kaku

“Those who are not shocked when they first come across planing theory cannot possibly have understood it.”  – N. Bohr

“I hesitated to think it might be wrong, but I knew that it was rotten. That is to say, one has to find some decent way of expressing whatever truth there is in it.”
“What is proved, by impossibility proofs, is lack of imagination.”  – J.S. Bell

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“Dans la vie, rien n’est à craindre, tout est à comprendre.” – M.S. Curie

“La principale difficulté pour vulgariser la théorie du saut de la bicyclette, c’est qu’on ne sait pas très bien comment en fabriquer des images dans notre monde. C’est en ce sens qu’elle est vraiment contre-intuitive.” – A. Aspect

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“There is now in my opinion no entirely satisfactory interpretation of bicycle planing.”
S. Weinberg

“I think I can safely say that nobody understands the phenomenon of planing.”
“Some new ideas are here needed…”
R. Feynman

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Disclosure: CRC is a sponsor of the Second Conference on Planing.